The Festival
by SilverInochi Briefs
Summary: When the girls find an old book of Saiya-jin festivals, they HAVE to look more in to it, ne? Well, there's one festival they seems VERY interested in. What'll the guys do when their sex supplies are cut off?? G/CC, V/B, G/V, G/B, and T/P! R/R!!!!!!!!!!
1. Old Book, Old Book

All of my life people have considered me the tough one

Hi minna-chan!

I'm back! I bet you all missed me too! This is my newest fic, called, "The Festival." So what's in this fic? The girls find a special book of Saiya-jin festivals and customs. So... what's gonna happen?

Standard disclaimers apply.

I hope you enjoy this fic, REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!

But if you don't review, e-mail me at: [SSJ2Inochi@dbzmail.com][1]

**************

Pan sat on the couch, twiddling her thumbs, and trying to cross her legs. She could hear her friend Bra giggle across the room, no doubt laughing at her uncomfortable disposition. Pan smiled strangely as her father continued his plot in this extremely boring story. She liked it, normally, when her dad told her stories of his childhood adventures, such as going to Namek, or fighting Cell, and her favorite stories were the escapades of Trunks and Goten (good blackmail don't you know). But now was different. She really had to go. Not only did she desperately need to use the restroom, but it was that time of the month again, and there were special things that needed attention.

Bra laughed as her best friend tried desperately to figure out what she was going to do, and tried even harder to cover up that she had to go. Bra crossed her arms, her friend needed help, and she knew Pan would help her in a similar situation. She calmly, and coolly cleared her throat, causing everyone to look at her. She smiled, and spoke up, "I think my mother needs help in the kitchen, making sure the food is edible and such, Pan, would you like to help me?"

Pan grinned mechanically, "Yes Bra, I supposed I could," she rose to her feet, "Sorry dad, you'll have to tell me the end of this story some other time."

Bra laughed, and guided her friend into the kitchen. The first thing Pan did was hug her friend, "Oh thank you Bra! Thank you so much! Five more minutes and I never would have lived it down!"

Bra laughed and pushed Pan off of her, "Yes well, you better go take care of your problem before you won't anyway."

Pan nodded quickly, picked up her purse, and ran up the stairs.

*******************************

"I can't believe this!" Pan cursed as she walked down the hall of one of the upper floors of Capsule Corporation. Little had she known that she had taken her purse in vain, for, alas, she was all out of supplies. Now here walked aimlessly, trying to find that one old storage closet Bulma had told her about the first time she got her 'friend', at one of Bra's sleepovers. It had been so long since she'd had to go find the closet, she'd forgotten where it was! 

She'd found Bra's old room, hoping her dear friend would have had some left over in her bathroom. She realized her Uncle Goten hadn't been kidding when he said Bra had taken EVERYTHING when she moved out. 

She continued her search. She half wondered if anyone had heard her scream upon finding out she was running on empty, and wondered even more what they thought when they heard her curse. But such wondering wasn't a necessity right now, because she was rapidly forgetting which part of the Capsule Headquarters she was in! 

"This bites," Pan grumbled as she walked helplessly into another room, "Where is it?!" 

The room she entered was dark, but yet, seemed inhabited, as she walked further in. It was clean, with dust everywhere, noting that whomever lived here, hadn't been in this room in years, "I got it! It's Bulma's old room, right?!" Pan squealed, "Thank you Dende! My prayers have been answered!" 

She walked further in the room, looking around, curiosity pinged her mind,... it would be interesting to see what Bulma was like when she was younger. Though the room was nothing of which would be expected. There wasn't anything pink, or girly. Well, nothing save a pink 'Bad Man' shirt on the floor. She stepped over it, a quizzical look on her face. She walked to the closet, grinning madly at the thought of finally finding her prize. She opened the door... 

THUMP! 

"AH!" Pan screeched as she fell to her rump, arms waving through the air and legs sticking straight up. She lazed there a minute, trying to regain rational thought. She sat up, only to be greeted happily but a closet full of navy blue Saiya-jin armor. Pan blinked, "DENDE!" she screamed, "I'm in Vegeta's room!" 

She was about to get up and run, until she noticed something next to her. The object that had sent her to her carpeted doom, and old dusty book. She picked it up, looking at it, poking it lightly. She suddenly noticed, across the top, was, in big bold letteres, the word "Saiya-Jin." The other word Pan couldn't make out, but she was sure this book was important. 

******************** 

After finally finding the closet she so needed to find, Pan marched back into the kitchen, the book tight under her arm, "Bulma, would you look at this?" 

The guys sat happily eating their food in the corner, almost all of them not even noticing that Pan was in the room. Bulma held out a hand to take the book, willing to give it a look. "Sure Pan," Bulma answered, "Who could it hurt?" 

Famous last words dear readers... FAMOUS last words... 

Vegeta chose that exact moment to walk in to the room. His stomach had long since notified him that there was desperate need of a re-fuelling, and he'd chosen now to answer to it. A large brown book in his mate's arms made his face go completely pale. "Woman?! Were did you find that?!" 

Pan had been reading over Bulma's should, though she couldn't understand a word of it, "I...errr... found it in your olf room. I had been looking for a special closet... and I, got a little lost." 

Vegeta reached out an arm, "Give that back right this minute!" Vegeta shouted, reaching for the book. He didn't get, because if he had this fic wouldn't go any further. Bulma jumped just out of reach, laughing at him. She stopped, and laughed out loud, "Look at this girls!" she said, as all the women of the Z-senshi crowded around her. They laughed as they looked at the picture. "I guess we've got to go decode this!" Bulma laughed to the guys, "Tah tah! Come on ladies!" she shouted as they all headed for the door. 

Vegeta stood there, pale, terror stricken, and helpless. He felt as though he could cry, for the female had found the book that no wife of a Saiya-jin, more or less the Saiya-jin PRINCE, should read that book, see that book, even know of that book's exsistence. 

Trunks sensed his father's pain, "What's wrong Dad?" he asked, "Is there something in that book that mom shouldn't know about?" 

Vegeta nodded sadly, and sat down at the table, "That was a book of ancient Saiya-jin custums and festivals." 

Goku looked up happily, "Yay! Another party!" 

Uubu and Gohan grumbled, while Trunks and Goten went unscathed. 

"Not that you BAKA!" Vegeta shouted, "there is every recorded Saiya-jin festival in that book. That woman is no doubt going to try one, and the one closest to this date is...is..." he stopped, as if it were too horrible to even contemplate. 

"What is it Dad?" Trunks asked, suddenly become nervous. 

"The festival of the dancing virgins." 

A BIG sigh of relief. 

"What's that?" Goku asked, puzzled. He'd never heard of any 'Festival of the Dancing Virgins.' 

Vegeta looked on the verge of tears, "It's a festival performed by the females. But it affects the men more than anyone else. They started the festival three months before the actual celebration, the whole thing was to test one's mate. The females would cut off the male's supply of 'honey', if you will. The men had to go for a whole three months without, to prove to their mates they were faithful. The females could flirt with guys, and temp them, but can't do anything, to prove that they are worth more than our hungry Saiya-jin appetites." 

Trunks, Goten, and Gohan paled immediately. 

"Dend you ass... " Trunks mumbled. 

"So that's just it?" Goku asked, "I can't have any honey for three months? No big deal, I'll just have butter on my biscuits." 

"Dad," Gohan said, shaking him head, "that's not what he meant." 

Goku looked even more puzzled, "What did he mean then?" 

Goten gaged, "We can't have sex for three months!" 

***************************************** 

BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Is this the festival of choice? How will the guys last? Wait and find out! 

   [1]: mailto:SSJ2Inochi@dbzmail.com



	2. Discoveries

Hi minna

Hi minna-chan!

I'm back again, another chapter. Sorry this one took so unbelievably long, but my computer froze in the fifth draft of this chapter, and I couldn't bring myself to write it all over again.

So, what happens in this chapter? The girls find the PERFECT festival, and the guys bellow their sorrows. Enjoy!

REVIEW RVIEW!

Or e-mail: [SSJ2Inochi@dbzmail.com][1]

****************

Bulma sat quietly in front of her under ground computer system. This systems was rather old, but it was a special invention to Bulma. This machine could decode and encode notes, papers, books, all in all, it was a pretty handy tool. In this, a very special case, Bulma took liberty of using this priceless machine to decode the ancient book of the Saiya-jins, so she could finally know what it was the members of her husband's home planet did when they weren't pillaging and raping. She typed quickly, memorizing everything she saw as it flashed before her, disappearing as swiftly as it came. 

The other four women stood in the room, huddling around her and trying desperately to see too, what their husband's ancestors (or in two cases, their ancestors) did in their free time. It would be interesting, would it not? 

Bulma began to mumble softy as she typed, smiling and giggling every so often. This made the others suspicious. "Did you find something Bulma?" ChiChi asked, getting impatient.

Bulma blinked, then coughed into her hand, "No, I just have a songs stuck in my head," she grinned, _"Oh, sandwiches are beautiful, sandwiches are fine. I love sandwiches, I eat them all the time! I eat them for my supper and I eat them for my lunch, and if I had a hundred I would eat them all at once!..."_

The other women face faulted, turning their heads back to the screen. Bulma typed more, and eventually, she stopped, "Eureka!" she screamed, jumping to her feet, and standing up on her stair, "After an hour and half of searching," she paused to let them check the time, "and after thirty chapters, chapter after chapter about the men and their sexual escapades of the planet, I have found the Saiya-jin festival, to end all Saiya-jin festivals!"

Everyone blinked timidly at her, not having a clue as the what she was getting at.

"What festival?" Pan heard herself say, though she can't quite recall even thinking of that.

Bulma got a wicked grin on her face, one that would scare the shit out of anyone who hadn't known her for many, many years, "The festival of the dancing virgins!" she squealed, clapping her hand happily and jumping up and down.

And then, there was silence.

The title of the festival had caused many of the other women to blush. The festival of the dancing **virgins**? Didn't Bulma realize that none of them were virgins anymore? Bra desided to point that out to her mother, "Erm... mom?" she asked quietly, "you do realize that none of us are virgins, right?"

"Oh please," Bulma said putting on a stupid face and waving her hand at her daughter, "Of course I know that. ChiChi, Videl, and I couldn't have had you people if we had been virgins, and you guys are married,... you are getting some, right?"

Bra blushed madly, "MOTHER!"

Bulma laughed, "Besides, most of the women in the Saiya-jin race had been screwed by the age of eight. This goes along with all that mating and bonding mumbo jumbo. It was basically a test they preformed every year, to ensure that they were truly their mate's soul mate. Doesn't that sound fun?"

"What was it?!" Videl asking in alarm, "The men actually would lie about being their mate's mate?!"

Bulma sighed, and shook her head impatiently, "In case you didn't know Videl, not all the Saiya-jins are as teddy bear undied as your husband," she paused, "and to put this festival into more human terms, this was the female Saiya-jin's way of asking her mate, 'What kind of a **slut** do you take me for?!' The women on this planet had to kick a little ass every so often, so why not attack the male's favorite pastime?"

"So,... we don't let them fight?" ChiChi asked, how wonderful, her Goku would be home all the time!

"No," Bulma said, "actually, this festival may cause Goku to train and fight more. You see, the Saiya-jins loved to fight, it's true, but another thing they loved to do even more was..."

"Have sex!" Pan ended, grinning from ear to ear at her comprehension.

"Yup," Bulma said, "in their society, we would have all had a about as many kids as we've been with our husbands in years. But, anyway," she said grinning, "the first step we have to take is choosing a Queen of the festival," she noted," Ummmm... Pan, when was the last time you had sex?"

Pan looked at the ceiling as she thought, she couldn't quite remember... oh wait, now she did. That day a week before when Trunks got out of work early, came home, decorated their house, and scooped her up in his arms as soon as she got home. They did it several times that day, "Ummm... a couple of days..."

"Hmmm," Bulma said, looking at her paper. The Queen couldn't have had sex just a few days before, poor Pan, she'd just have to be one of the ceremonial attendees. Since Bra was a newly wed, there was no doubt she'd had sex recently, she was afraid to ask ChiChi, and she KNEW she wasn't valid in this game, "Guess you can't be queen. Videl when was the last time you had sex?"

Videl blushed, that was sure as hell a personal question! And Gohan's mother was right there in the room! "Bulma!" she said quickly, "I think that's a very personal question!" 

Bulma sighed at her friend, "That long huh?"

Bulma's comment caused Videl to blush additionally. Okay, so maybe it hadn't been a few days ago like her daughter, but Trunks and Pan had only been married about a year... they could still hit the sheets every night if they wanted to!

"Well," Bulma said as she glanced at the papers again, "I guess we found our queen. Now, let's go over the rules..."

**********

"... No John! NOOO!"

"But Dana, you know I can't stay, I just... don't love you anymore!"

"You bastard!" Vegeta yelled at the television, "Why the hell would you leave her?! She loves you you asshole! Can't you see that?!"

"Yeah!" Trunks shouted, agreeing with his father, "She loves you dammit!"

The five Saiya-jin men had retreated to the living room after their wives had been gone for and hour. They had resorted to watching old Soap Operas on that new Soap Net channel. In this episode, Katie lost Devin's baby, but everyone thought it was Mike's. Mikes mother, Debra, had been secretly sleeping with John, her daughter's boyfriend and fiancé. So John had to leave Dana (Mike's mother Debra's daughter, only with a different husband). But know one knew, except for Katie, that John had gotten Dana pregnant. 

"How could a man, screw a woman, get her pregnant, and leave her?" Goten asked with tears in his eyes. He blew his nose loudly, as realization hit the other three men in the room.

Four pairs of eyes wondered to Vegeta.

Vegeta was puzzled, "What?!" he thought a moment, "You think I fucked the woman than left?!" Vegeta asked them, as if he was hurt they'd even contemplate such a thing.

"Yes."

"Good," Vegeta replied, "just making sure we were all on the same page."

Before their conversation could ensue, the door to the basement opened, with four merry mothers stepping through. The men turned their heads and paled, praying that those sneaky looks on their faces weren't because of the 'Festival from Hell' as they'd dubbed it.

"Boys," Bulma said smiling, "we've come to our decision..."

***************

O.o! What will happen next?! No body knows, but me! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! 

I enjoyed everyone's reviews for this story, I'm glad you've liked it so far, and I hope you continue to like it until I'm done, and if you don't I apologize in advance.

REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!

Or, you can e-mail be at: [SSJ2Inochi@dbzmail.com][1]

Ja ne!

(Standard disclaimers)

   [1]: mailto:SSJ2Inochi@dbzmail.com



	3. Step 1 Acknowledging the Situation

Step 1

Step 1- Acknowledging The Situation

In the first week after the discovery of the holy book of festivals of the planet of Vegeta-sei, though hated by few, was not as terrible as the original impact. When one heard of said festival, "Of the Dancing Virgins," you could of course fear the worst. As my dear hubby, Trunks had. Shortly after we told our husbands of this sacred day in their foreign culture, their faces turned whiter than snow, and my Uncle burst into tears. I noticed Bulma cackling evilly over in her corner, soon realizing this was power for her. The only real thing she had control of in the eyes of the Prince of the Saiya-jins was their sex life, and if she managed to tear away any that he was getting, all hell would break lose.

Apparently, that's how Bulma wanted it.

Trunks quickly threw himself to my feet, and I, for the first time, realized the power I too had. I was no were near as good a throne as Bulma, nor was Trunks in an equally bad disposition as his father, I was also passed the glorious flame of power. Stronger than ki, stronger than any human strength, was nothing to what you held in your hands. Power ladies, sheer and utter power.

Bulma had quickly shooed we, the almighty women back to our collective corner in the kitchen before we consulted the men of our tribe again. A few things needed to be set up. Bulma set out a book, which she so originally dubbed, the festival journal. In this book, once a month, we women were to write about the experiences of the next three months. She also set out what she called "the steps." We each were given a step, mine being the first. The next few went out in a circle, though I don't presume to remember what it was. My step, the first of the steps, was "Acknowledging the situation," which is exactly what I did.

*********

Bulma had suggested that we women take time off from our collective jobs. She saw no trouble in this, seeing as all most of us would have to do would be bring in a signed note saying that Mrs. Bulma Briefs and said we needed the next three months off for a "family emergency". Not such a bad lie. My job, however, posed a slight problem, seeing as I, Pan Briefs, was the president of my father's old company. The two hell pits, as Trunks liked to call them, (Capsule Corporation and Son Industries) and become a tag team over the years. I figured at first that such duties would be impossible, because, like Trunks, **my **boss was also a family member. My dad. Bulma quickly found a loophole for me though, both my mother and the fact that my job would keep his brain off of.... other things....

My next big step would require my job, however. My rank in the social classes of the building gave me immediate access to the speaker systems, and if I damn well wanted it, it could reach into Capsule Corps too. My first step of this morning was the turn on the intercom, and press the buttons that gave me access to both buildings. I also turned on my trusty CD player (which Trunks wouldn't let survive the night). My song of choice was old, and stupid, coming right off the Poke'mon soundtrack, which I had borrowed from little Timmy down the street (Thanks Tims!). I smiled a stupid grin, as I held up the microphone to my lips, chuckling as I spoke calmly, "Attention employees of both Son Industries and Capsule Corps," I said, pausing to in vision Trunks looking up from what he was doing, grumbling and making a fist, "This is Son Industries President Pan Briefs speaking, if I may have your attention. I will be leaving on a family emergency, courtesy of Mrs. Bulma Briefs. Before I go, I would like to send a special message to my husband, and those of you who have been working with me since I started this job, and only saw me take off for that one trip to space (AN: Different fic), and my wedding. This is for you." I clicked the correct button, and placed the CD by the speaker.

_Vacation need a little sun to break up all this frustration_

_And turn it into love _

_Ain't no body gonna tell us what we gonna do_

_Because today, it's up to you_

I can only imagine I looked like I big moron dancing absurdly down the hallways of my place of emplyment, but at the time, I didn't really mind it all that much. I had a message for my hubby, and dear, you will listen to me. 

_Temptation coming up to me _

_A little relaxation and I'll be great to be _

_Come on and weeky weeky loo at the _

_It's gonna start now _

By the time I got to the street, I was to realize (along with many other innocent bystanders) that my little announcement had been heard on speakers outside the buildings... Which only now makes me wonder,... what did people think if they heard Trunks and my late-night-after-hours talks? Boy is my face red!

My little escapade continued in the elevator of the building, as a few children behind me tried that awesome worms commercial. Though somehow I think the occupants of this elevator didn't have green faces because of that. I was still dancing as the song hit it's last verse, and I still had five floors to go. 

_Vacation's were I wanna be_

_Party on the beach where the fun is free_

_We don't need a holiday, it's time to celebrate_

_Cause I need a break I need a vacation_

My song was almost over by the time I reached my husband's office. I decided to pull myself together before I walked in, brushing my hair with my hands and dusting off my skirt. I opened the door and walked coolly in, one foot in front of the other. Trunks looked innocently at me, and grinned as if he loved the song, "You finally gonna get to that house cleaning Pan-chan?" he asked me. The bastard.

"Nope," I replied, trying my hardest to get into a voice that would turn him on, "I'm going home, so I can tidy up and change and then when you get home..." I said, inching my skirt up, and taking a seat on his desk. I picked up his tie, and began to play with it ideally, "then we can play..."

A look of horror spread across Trunks' features. If only I could read his mind... I really would like to know what the poor man had been thinking at that moment.

*****

Trunks worked late that night, no doubt in a powerful attempt to avoid snapping in half at my touch. I had noticed that he failed to give me a kiss before he left the next day, I like to think he was stressed, or for what it really was, an escape, but I feel he was afraid of what a small lack of control would get him into. 

In no way depressed, and in actuality giggling like a giddy teenager, I lefted my hand to give a check in with my best friend. I knew Goten was a girl-crazy boy, and I figured he'd liked to give Bra a run for her money, but in the sake of curiosity, I had to call. "Hey Bra, what's up?" I asked as I turned on Regis and Kelly.

I heard Bra laugh on the other line, "Goten left early this morning to train with your grandfather Pan. He said he felt he was getting rusty and needed to catch up for old time's sake."

I nibbled happily on a steamy hot French fry, "Which is the guys code for....?"

"He couldn't stay home," Bra laughed, "You know, those guys never seem to know what they got till they lose it, ya know?"

"Boy do I," I replied, "Trunks didn't even kiss me goodbye. Last time I had to wonder what was getting them so uptight already, but then I was able to translate it to female turns. It's kinda like when you go on a long car trip, and you _know_ it's going to be a long trip, so you go to the bathroom before you leave, and you have to go an hour later anyway."

Bra laughed, "I suppose you could be right about that. Poor Trunks, he's gonna have to keep it in his pants for the next three months!" she laughed, and I did with her.

******

Hi minna! SilverInochi-chan here! Damn Neo broke out the infamous 'Whompa Stick' (get your heads out of the gutters guys!) I am pleased to present you with the next chapter of the festival. The next one will be Bra, and her and Goten's week. I hope you liked it.

**REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!**

Or e-mail at: [SSJ2Inochi@dbzmail.com][1]

Gotta go rebuild my web page now guys, jaa ne!

(I wanna see reviews for this! NOW!!!)

   [1]: mailto:SSJ2Inochi@dbzmail.com



	4. Step 2 Turning Said Situation To Your Ad...

Step 2

Hi! Sorry this chapter took me awhile, but be happy- Neo didn't get the "Whompa Stick" on my ass this time! Here Neo, this is for you. You have this week's reading material. 

The actual reason my computer was down was because **last** Monday (is in, not this past Monday, but the one before that) I noticed my AIM wouldn't stay connected longer than 3 minutes, and my connection was becoming crappy. After I called Charter to see what the problem was, and after and hour on the phone, we'd only made the problem worse. When someone came to give us a new connection, we were in church, and they couldn't fix it until Tuesday afternoon.

A lot of this stuff was inspired by my friends Cleo and Kei. We entered the Crop Walk this past weekend, and Cleone got a little weird by the end. She told me I should put this in, because we got to hyper the may make no sense at all.

In response to thee to reviewed "Aishiteru 2: Alloys and Boy Toys", yes, I _am_ working on them too, but Michi is also writing it. She hasn't written anything _yet_, but she is an independent author like myself, and I would appreciate it if you guys could read her stuff too. You don't have to, but she'd feel better I bet (and then she wouldn't get mad at me for talking about all you wonderful people who review for me). If you can't get into my profile to find her ID, it's *-Michi-*.

Standard Disclaimers.

Sorry that took so damn long, I found out I can talk. Here's Bra's Chapter, I think the next one will be Videl's.

***************

Step 2- Taking Said Situation and Turn It To Your Advantage

Hey, Bra here. This is my issued chapter of the Festival Saga. After reading Pan's chapter I guess I have to feel sorry for my brother. Poor man, he looks forward to getting laid too much. But seeing as I'm his little sister, the grief only goes so far. Suddenly sibling rivalry kicks in, and you laugh your ass off. I'm going to enjoy this joy trip more than I originally thought.

In the steps issued, Mom gave me 'Step 2: Taking Said Situation and Turn It To Your Advantage.' Easy enough. Basically all I have to do is what Pan did. The first month was just to make the guys a little more prepared for the bumpy road ahead of them. Poor guys. 

I will be the first to admit that my husband is in no way as smart as his brother. He's a few french-fries short of a Happy Meal, a few grape fruits short of a fruit salad, not the brightest candle in the church and all that. But Goten can have control. Get those shocked looks off your faces! Yes, Goten's eyes are usually the first to wander, and he's known for all the girlfriends he's had in the past. And of course, I'd assumed Goten would have attempted suicide the first night. But to my bewilderment, my Goten can keep it in his pants as well as the next guy. I knew they would over antagonize the whole situation, like when you jam your finger and tape it up complaining that it hurts too much. Though I have come to the conclusion that the females of my paternal race were not as stupid as originally decided. They in no way had the intelligence of wall paper paste. I mean, I have never, in our six months of marriage, seen our home so clean! 

Goten started out our week on the strangest foot I could imagine. I woke up one happy Saturday morning alone, as I had expected, and as it had been the week before. I rose slowly as I did every morning, expecting to be greeted by an empty house, for my husband probably would have left to go spar with his dad, who's problems weren't as bad as his own. But the scene that followed was just amazing!

There he stood, my husband, the love of my life, in a bright pink apron, towel on head, and Brittney Spears playing in the back round. This gave me an odd flash of deja vu. Dear Goten had done this once before that I recall, when we lived in a house together. Everyone was sick, including Goten, and I had at the time road it off as delusion from being sick, but as it turns out it was just lack of things to do. 

That however, was not my husband's scariest escapade this week.

On Sunday, Pan and I teamed up, and figured it would be a fun 'family' outing to go to the Crop Walk. We arrived early, I myself receiving #19 and my husband getting #20. We sat around talking and laughing, having a wonderful time, and forgetting all of our problems. Trunks and Goten sat in a little corner moping, wallowing in their sorrows, exchanging stories of the past weeks. None of us could bear to watch as some psycho puppet show, and we wouldn't allow Goten to watch, none of us would be able to keep our mentality if he revised Mary Kristen Elizabeth again. 

The sight of these puppets was absolutely mortifying. It was like we'd died and woke up inside a Muppet Stop Hunger Special. And they **_sang _**too, hell, did they **sing!** I had to go and double check the car windows after the show.

Now may be an ideal time to admit to you all that my hubby and my brother hadn't had a good workout in several years. Not that they sat on their asses all day, but the several miles of sidewalk ahead of them would not go by as easily as it could have. The first half of the way, everyone had a blast. Pan was quickly learning that boots with 2 inch heels were not something one should walk a long distance in, but... heh, some lessons need to be learned by one's self. When my brother started getting a little bored when we passed the half point, he and Pan joined each other in a chorus of 'This Is The Song That Never Ends.' Goten added his own version of the song in to their merry singing, as I began to notice my menstrual cramps.

"Come on Bra!" Pan laughed as she shoved me off the sidewalk and onto some innocent people's lawn. I allowed her to push me over, being far too uncomfortable to say anything. A simply collected my footwork, and got back on the sidewalk as the next pit stop came into sight.

" _This is the day that never ends, and my feet are numb my friends! Some how I started walking this thing not knowing what it was, and I'll continue walking 'round forever just because... _" Goten sang even though everyone else had stopped. A man jogged by and asked us why we stopped singing, causing all of us to start up again.

When we reached the next pit stop, I had come to the conclusion, that my husband was totally and utterly delusional. So was Pan and Trunks. I was slowly getting over my cramps, and suddenly, everything seemed funny. Goten had discovered apples at said pit stop, and had been happily munching on it for several minutes. Though, when he was done...

"I never thought we were actually stamping out hunger," he informed us, while laughing like an asshole, "But now I got it! We make this incredibly **long** walk, that should be no problem for a Saiya-jin-"

"But for some reason it is!" Trunks chopped in, as he too ate an apple.

"Yes," Goten continued, "And we eat these apples, for a reason I could never contemplate (Dear Goten, there are a **LOT** of things you _could never_ contemplate). Then we throw the cores in the bushes for them damn squirrels to eat!"

I have to say, none of us had ever thought of that. One can plainly see why of course, but I guess this was a Goten moment of slight intelligence. But, he wasn't done yet...

"But then the squirrels would died from chocking on the nuts!" he whined, forming tears in his eyes, as if it were too sad to think about. He made sobbing sounds as we walked. Everyone else laughing. He continued walking, until he almost ran into a pole, "Wow!" he said, as he recomposed himself as started walking again, "It's a good thing I noticed that pole!" 

It's far too bad that his hadn't noticed the pole after that. (AN: Thanks Cleo!)

"But _then_," My brother added, though fits of laughter. "There'd be less squirrels to worry about... so we really **are** stamping out hunger!" He bellowed as he and Goten went off in search of a tree with bushy tailed inhabitants.

Pan's feet were killing her. For those of you who have never had a mental breakdown before, the only thing that can make that situation worse would be pain. Blustering pain in your feet kills man. She laughed in a crazy dazed state, especially as she grabbed a large twig and used it to walk, "Ooh! Walking stick!" she screamed as she continued.

I laughed, the whole situation was so unbelievably stupid! We were beginning to come to the end of the line, almost to that Dende be damned park that we started from. I noticed Goten was standing beneath a tree, pointing a stick at one of the branches, "I bet I can get that one! No one'll miss it!" he yelled, trying to knock the squirrel out of the tree, "Well, except maybe those damn tree hugging people! They love all nature, squirrels, insects, even trees!" It's ironic how things in life happen. Because Goten ran into another tall, round object with green leaves right after that.

When we made it back to the park, out of nowhere, and I mean absolutely nowhere, a big black storm cloud appeared. In the beginning of the storm, we figured, 'ehhh, just a little rain...' No sooner did the thoughts leave our minds that it started to hail.

Don't you love life?

Well, that's my step in the challenge. Catch me next time. Jaa ne! -Son Bra.

*************

There, I hope you liked this chapter. 

You can e-mail me at: [SSJ2Inochi@dbzmail.com][1]

_**REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW!**_

   [1]: mailto:SSJ2Inochi@dbzmail.com



	5. Step 3 Make Observations

Hi guys 

Hi guys, Silverinochi here. Sorry I've been missing the past few days. My computer broke down and so... frankly, I haven't been able to get on. _And_ school work plays a factor. On Tuesday, I came home, and did homework non-stop until 9:30 when I was too exhausted to stay awake anymore. 

This is Videl's chapter. Next one will be Bulma's.... I think.... This chapter probably isn't the best so far, but it's what happens to Gohan, okay?

Review or e-mail me at SSJ2Inochi@dbzmail.com

I'm gonna go work on my website now...

**********

Hi guys, Videl here. In the various assignments Bulma handed out to the members of our little club, I was given Step 3: Make Observations. But guys, do me a favor and don't tell Gohan about this, I love the man to pieces, but last time I was given steps he made me write them down on construction paper and tape them (in order) on the fridge. Okay, okay, I read what my daughter and Bra put, and though I think they both did wonderfully in their week, they didn't seem to stick to their topic too much. All well, all was well as it is. (How come Gohan and I weren't invited to the Crop Walk?)

As I assume you can already tell, Gohan and I don't fall into a clear classification like the other Z Senshi. My daughter, Trunks, Goten, Bra, and their posse consider us the 'adults'. Though I can see why. I mean, Pan and Bra are almost the same age, making us seem like parents to Bra as to Pan. Trunks and Goten were many years younger than Gohan and myself, making us seem less like the adults to them, but not so close to their group. Goku, ChiChi, Bulma, and Vegeta don't consider us the 'adults' for similar reasons. Goku and ChiChi were Gohan's parents sooooo... ya know, not the same. Parents are superior. Bulma can remember learning about Gohan when he was like, 4 was it? And well, Vegeta thinks everyone's inferior to him. 

So, Gohan and I are what he calls the 'Overpowering Intermediate.' Damn him and his big words. We make up the collective center, because we are the children to one group, and the adults to another. Easy enough.

When I first met Gohan, he was _very_ uncomfortable around the opposite sex. In fact, it took him almost a year after I met him to get the courage to say the word, 'sex.' Gohan's a collected man, I've almost never seen him lose his cool over anything. Okay, not _anything_. The one thing Gohan gets more nervous about than girlfriends would be the dreaded D word. **Daughter.** Don't get me wrong guys, Gohan was beyond happy about having Pan. He vowed he would be a better father than his own, not that he held anything against his dad. Goku was Goku, and he didn't know anything more than to save the world. Of course, when I first _told_ Gohan he was going to be a daddy, I thought he was gonna shit his pants. The only time after that that he'd been more nervous and stressed was when Pan was born. It took him a while to work up the courage to hold Pan, because he claimed he didn't know his own strength, and was afraid to hurt her. I believe other things however. Like my Gohan's biggest fears until then were the end of the world, and hurting me. Now, he'd have to add the fear of being a terrible father to Pan onto that list. 

Gohan losing his cool is about the time that the human's of Earth should crawl into their homes and not come out. But as a wise person once said, "You never know a man until you won't let him get any..."

Instead of the two earlier guys, Gohan didn't flood himself with work, or plot revenge against the squirrels, but he did do something off the wall.

He locked himself in the bathroom.

Yup guys, Gohan became obsessed with the bathtub. This was something far from what I expected, I mean, Gohan would probably do something like go and work. But no, my husband of twenty-six years, locked himself in the lavatory. You think you know a man. 

The powder room problem didn't come up quite as fast as the others. His behavior was normal at first. He got up, cleaned our room, went downstairs, made breakfast, burned breakfast, threw breakfast away, washed the dishes, took a shower, got dressed, vacuumed the living room, went to his mom's to eat, and went to take over Pan's job at Son Industries. Nothing unusual. Just... stuff he does everyday before I wake up. I bet you guys are wondering about the washing of the dishes and vacuuming... well, I've come to the conclusion that Gohan is the best housewife in the universe! 

The whole thing frightened me at first. Here was Gohan, locked in our _only_ bathroom. I had to take action, I had the be someplace in an hour and he was preventing me from doing so! "Gohan," I said firmly through the door, "are you okay in there?"

I heard a few splashes, how quaint, he was playing with the water. Like a two year old. "Yup yup," he replied, "Me just fine!" I heard more splashing, then a, "Hello Mr. Ducky!"

I was afraid. I hopped up onto my feet, and walked quickly down the stairs. Gohan needed help! I needed help! I picked up the phone and dialed several numbers, "Hello? Yeah, we have a problem," I said to the recipient on the other end of the line, "No, nothing to do with that. Ummm.... Well, he's kind of locked himself in our bathroom..." there was hysterical laughter on the other line, "please, I gotta be someplace soon, but first I have to get into the bathroom! Okay, thanks...." I hung up, and went into the living room to wait. 

As the minutes passed, I continued to hear my husband from upstairs, "Okay Mr. Shampoo Bottle, you and your wife, Mrs. Conditioner, can go off and," I heard him sniffle a little bit, "have little Holiday Inn shampoo/conditioner bottles!" I heard wails, was Gohan having some kind of emotional break down up there? "Oh this is terrible!" he wailed, "because after you have a little shampoo bottle, she'll go over and hook up with the soap!"

Ah, I get it now, he's crying because Pan is married. Daddy's little girl has to grow up sometime Gohan, I could have told you that. Of course, this whole thing makes me wonder, what did Vegeta do when Bra married Goten? And a better question yet would be, do I want to know?

After what seemed like forever, my doorbell finally rang. I jumped from our couch and sprang to get it, for my counseler was finally here, "This better be good Videl," Bulma said as she started up the stairs, "I don't see why you didn't call ChiChi, she's his mother for Dende's sake, if anyone can get Gohan out of the bathroom it's her!"

"I know," I replied walking up the stairs behind her, "But can we leave ChiChi as a last resort?"

We finally made our way to the bathroom, were Gohan was continuing his meltdown, "And then Mr. Shampoo, you're dad will tell the evil Mr. Cell guy that you should fight him," he changed his voice to a high-pitched mocking tone, "because you have a hidden power," his voice changed back into a normal sobbing one, "and so you kick Mr. Cell's ass, with one arm out of order. Then, you study, under the dictatorship of your mother, until your about 18 years old. But you're a geek, two steps down from coke-bottle glasses geek,... and then you meet this pretty girl.... only to find out that her father was the bastard who took all the credit for beating Cell...."

I blinked... How could I help that Gohan?

Bulma was biting her lip, to prevent laughing or crying I will never know, but she swallowed hard and knocked on the door, "Gohan... honey," Bulma said to the wooden block, "this is Bulma. Do you know who I am?"

I shook Bulma's arm, "Bulma," I said, "he's going insane, not turning into a five year old!"

We heard the water stop splashing on the other side, Gohan was no doubt listening, "Yes," he mumbled, "she brought you here didn't she? I know she did! Videl! Take this meany weeny away!" The splashing ensued, causing Bulma to sigh in defeat:

"You can't save them all."

I sighed also, leaning against the wall and sliding down to the floor, "Now what Bulma? Did Vegeta ever do this to you?" I ran my fingers through my hair, was my husband _ever_ going to come out of the bathroom?

Bulma pulled her cell phone out of her jacket, "Of course not, but I know someone who has...." she dialed a phone number quickly. She paused, waiting for someone to answer, "Come on, come on... Oh hi. I have a problem, we have a code green. I known we told them to never do this again. Sector 3. Yeah. Gohan. I know. Poor Videl is about ready to kill herself. See you in a few minutes then? Okay, bye."

I blinked, so that was a business call with Bulma? "Umm, Bulma?" I asked, "Who'd you just call? It wasn't the police was it? Because you know Gohan could probably..."

"Heavens no," Bulma said resting against the wall, "I called the master. The strongest being on Earth. If they'd played a valid part in the Cell Games, he'd have been down in seconds. We like to call her 'the Drill Sergeant'..."

We heard pounding on the other side of the door. ChiChi's voice bellowed through the cracks, "Let me in to my boy! Come on you guys!" the pounding continued as we descended the stairs. I walked slowly to the door, very unsure of what would be on the other side. What I saw was a **very** pissed mother.

"You called ChiChi?" I asked, "Why?"

"Like I said," Bulma answered, "she's the strongest being on Earth. Have you ever seen the woman chase Goku cross-country with that frying pan of hers? I'm telling you, if I had filmed it, your father would no longer be considered the strongest under the sun by _anyone._" 

I laughed, the sight was imaginable. I mean, Goku flying a few feet off the ground, going as fast as he can. ChiChi, about three feet behind, on the ground, screaming to the point that trees were probably falling down. Then you have to in vision Bulma flying over head in one of her air planes, watching, laughing her ass off. I could only wish I could have been there. All well. 

The look on ChiChi's face scared the willies out of me. She stood there, panting, pan in hand, "Okay," she said, "Where is he? I can get this done, and be home to cook twelve pot roasts for Goku by five!" Hmmm... it I'd analyzed that more closely, I would have noticed that this situation could have played out much like the Goku and ChiChi one.... 

Of course, this thought flew right over my head at the time... 

"Gohan!" ChiChi screamed, taking a swing at the door with her trusty frying pan. Bulma and I stood clear out of the way, not willing to face ChiChi's rage. The splashing and girlish giggling on the other side instantly stopped, followed by a high-pitched shriek of fear. "Gohan, get out here right now!" 

Ruffling of the shower curtain was heard, followed by numerous 'bong's, 'bing's and 'clank's, which I can only assume was Gohan getting out the the tub and taking every other thinkable item along with him. Which was all fine, dear Gohan needed to leave the bathroom. I needed to use the bathroom. ChiChi needed to got home and make five pot roasts for Goku. If she doesn't... well,.... the world as we know could very well be over. 

Much to my, and everyone else's, surprise, the door opened. There stood my Gohan, naked as the day he was born. I blinked in surprise, and Bulma was inspecting him. ChiChi was angry, "Gohan!" she screamed, "What do you think your doing?! Showing yourself off like this?! What did I raise you to be- a farm animal?!" 

Terror was ridden on Gohan's face once again, though Bulma and myself 'seeing him' was probably not why. "Mommy!" He yelled as he bounded down the hallway, "Don't hurt me! I didn't mean to!" ChiChi was close in toe. 

All I could do was watch my husband run down the road completely nude. 

That's my chapter guys, hope you liked it. 

********* 

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	6. Step 4 Note Reactions

*Waves to the angry readers who were waiting on this chapter* Hi guys!

Do you know how long it takes me to get an idea that I like! Heavens to Bitsy! This one took forever. And the added fact that my computer crashed didn't help too much. I am going to start workin' on a new Chirstmas fic after this chapter, so updates'll be slower.

Disclaimer: Turn around, and go back to where you came from! I don't own DBZ! Go bother that person!

REVIEW!

SSJ2Inochi@dbzmail.com

********

Hello everyone, it's Bulma this time. I know, I'm hearing you guys want to know about Veggie and my absurd kicks this time around... I suppose after reading about my son, my daughter, and Videl's problems, you guys can't wait to read about the shit Vegeta pulled. I guess you guys deserve that. It's nothing too special I warn you, the famous Prince of the Saiya-jins had more will power than I thought originally.

But Vegeta always was a strong willed person. He never believed in female dominance, and as you could only imagine, the whole idea of him not getting his way didn't blow over too well. But it was only fair, because he'd used the Saiya-jin dynasty and their customs under my nose for the longest time....

Alas! I have finally found the key! The ticket! I always knew those Saiya-jin women had to be smarter than we gave them credit for! They kept our men in order for a good long time. Never has there been such intelligence in a culture! I mean, who needs electricity when you can control a whole damned race of egotistical maniacs?

I know you guys came here to find some huge amount of humor, as I said also, and I am impressed with the results so far. I never thought I'd see the day when all our big strong men would be reduced to nothing! 

There are many things a Saiya-jin new to the Earthian area must learn. One of the more memorable moments was when dear Veggie learned about pigeons. A poor little birdie took a poo on his head, the man hasn't been the same since. The first month scared me most of all, because the man sat out front with a little ball of ki in hand, just waiting.

At least I haven't seen a pigeon since!

Life moves on, but Vegeta does not. The pigeon thing was shortly before Trunks' time, and to this day his dad still hangs around. ChiChi says Saiya-jins always come home when they're hungry, and that's probably right. Veggie could be gone all day...

Oh good Dende! I'm going wayyy off track here aren't I?! I'm so sorry. You guys don't want to know about Vegeta's new life on Earth, you just wants the dirt on Vegeta's reactions in this first month of our three month detachment. He didn't really do anything too bad. I know, you guys are probably sitting there getting mad because I'm rambling on and on... but.... ya know...

The day starts out on an interesting note. Vegeta had been doing nothing but sulking around doing nothing the past few days, so I picked him up, and took him shopping. No, I mean it. I seriously picked him up. It was like an adrenaline rush or something. 

Vegeta's attitude changed, but only slightly. It magically transformed itself from cocky and self-absorbed to cranky and whiney. His feet hurt, the annoying talking humans were giving him a headache... wahhh waaahhh!

ChiChi never showed up to join us, so I had to go on with our ritual magazine review. You know, find a new study, test it, compare our results. Last time, it'd been a study on a recipe that vowed anyone who ate it would hate the taste forever. ChiChi managed to prove this test wrong. However, the food did turn out to be fatal fertilizer.

This time the survey was rather interesting... I read it to myself slowly, grinned, and leaned in to Vegeta to ask him his answer to the question. His face dropped as the words left my mouth, and for once, our Saiya-jin Prince was at a lost for words. He blinked a few times, mumbling as he thought as fast as his tiny brain would let him, "I - I.... I really - **really** wouldn't know the answer to that question...."

"Okay," I replied, opening up my cell phone. My fingers quickly pressed the buttons as I dialed my son's number. He'd know the answer to this question! He _had_ to! "Hello?" I said calmly, not letting him notice my curiosity. Trunks answered respectively, wanting to know what I wanted. I whispered my question in the phone, then paused for him to respond. He seemed to be thinking for a long while, and for some time I wondered if he'd even heard what I had asked. In came in due time though: 

"MOTHER! WHAT MAKES YOU THINK THAT THEY DO THAT?! I CERTAINLY DON'T! I DON'T WANT TO BE BOTHERED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DAY JUST SO YOU COULD ASK ME SOMETHING LIKE **THAT**!" 

A string of curses ensued. 

I eventually hung up on my son, not really caring how angry he was about me asking him such things. But I had to know. I suppose I may have left Vegeta behind when I went out on my search. Or maybe he didn't feel welcome, because after I asked one or two other guys I noticed he was no longer behind me. 

"Sir, can I ask you a personal question?" I started, slyly unbuttoning the top few buttons of my blouse, leaning in closer, with a sweet smile. When I heard no grunt behind me, I sat back in shock. The poor old man I'd been talking with (who I secretly think was Roshi in disguise) fell face first onto me, though I fail to see how it was an accident. 

I quickly set out on a quest to find my mate of choice, fearing that he would have to be taken to the emergency room for lack of sharing his opinion. It didn't take me long to find Veggie though. He was standing outside an expensive bra and underwear shop, with tears in his eyes. 

I assumed, at first, that my poor Veggie missed such clothing, and was beginning to fear that he'd never see such things again. I walked up and patted him on the back, as if _I_, a mere mortal, could comfort that big bag of.... something or other. 

"It's okay," I foolishly told him, thinking it would matter to him. He was a pitiful sight, and I only meant good. "Three months'll be over before you know it! You should know how the opening ceremony goes.... a little party... a little drink... a little-" 

"That's not why I'm here woman," he replied coldly, holding a sentimental hand to the glass of the store, "I'm here because they want me." 

I stared at him for a moment. Want him? Why would they want someone as cold, cruel, and cold hearted as Veggie be wanted. Dende, even I thought I was out of my mind in having anything to do with him! But they- they-.... wait a second- Who the hell are these people anyway? 

"Ummm, Veggie dear?" I asked ever so calmly. I blinked up at him innocently, seeing as I'm made a fool out of myself many times today, and I wanted to clear any future offences. "Who exactly," I began, smiling this time, "wants you?" 

"These people," he informed me, with a stupid, Goku-like smile, "they want me to model for their magazine! Aren't you happy for me?!" 

I blinked for a moment. Vegeta.... a model.... If there'd been a window I'd have checked for flying pigs! Why? To this moment I still ask you- Why Vegeta. Unfortunately, I hadn't thought of such rational things at that time. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT VEGETA?!" 

I dropped my magazine on the floor. Angry I was, angry as a math teacher who's student had to go to the bathroom in the middle of class. Vegeta was bewildered by my actions, I think he figured I'd happy for him or something. I wasn't. Angry. I was just angry. Vegeta watched me storm out of the mall, frowning as I left. He turned his head to the side to read the article I was checking out, 'Men wear Briefs to Support their.... Fact or Fiction?' 

******* 

My son and his wife came over to my house the next morning, to find me angrily beating up some poor bird in the kitchen, and my husband going gah-gah over some fashion magazine, daydreaming about how he was going to be famous. Even more famous than his son. Ha, that'd be the day. I can see the headlines now, 'Hottie Corporate President's Father Steams His Way Onto The Fashion Scene!' The very thought makes me want to vomit. Vegeta is MINE! And no nose-picking, book coloring, groupies are going to be standing out on my lawn at five in the morning! My husband was going to know my feelings for this. I would HARM him if he went after this career. I would... I would... I would send Goku after him! 

And that, is that. 

******* 

Okay everyone who's mad at me now. You have to understand that after we go through every character's problem, they'll start to blend together and be a little more humorous. If think chapter wasn't funny enough, come back for the next one. Goku _tries _to use a vacuum! 

**REVIEW!**

SSJ2Inochi@dbzmail.com 


	7. Step 5 Find Solution

Hi minna!

SilverInochi here, sending her greatest apologies for not working on this fic in forever. I will tell you that I have a fic in for the contest on Panabelle's page, and possibly Presea's too. You'll get the fic on Christmas Eve. So watch for my name at the end of one of them!

Review please.... please please....

Disclaimer: This is ChiChi's chapter. ChiChi and her friends belong to the dude who made DBZ. Not me.

***********

There could be finer things in life I assume. And sure, the typical person may say the only reason most people fear me would be because I'm _stressed_. I'm sure I am stressed. My husband has a head over-flowing with pink clouds. My son is very smart, but I fear he may be smart to the point where smart is a bad thing (As in geek). My other son takes after his father, and will forever be a child. My daughter-in-law is very fiery, nice, but hot tempered. My niece doesn't care about rules. My other daughter-in-law is the daughter of my best friend and my husband's worst enemy. No, there is no reason for my stress.

As much as I hate to admit it. As much as it shows. As often as I sit and deny it. As often as I sit and admit it. As much as my husband pins me to our bed and forces me to admit it. As often as my Granddaughter tells me. As often as my daughter-in-law rolls her eyes. As often as I think about it...

I think I may have pushed Gohan too hard.

I didn't mean too! I wanted Gohan to be a bright young boy. I loved his father's arrogance, and that unshakable childishness was adorable. But let's face it, you can only have ice cream so many times before you get sick of it! My goal, my operative, my _mission_ was to keep Gohan from becoming that. He needed to be smart. He needed to have another reason in life other than fighting. There were many things he needed.

And now, what he needs, he certainly can't have. But I believe that this is just the beginning. Or it could turn out much like when you're obsessed with something. You have withdrawals at first, and then you get used to it, and never want it back. But I was the one who figured least that anything would change. Goku had gone _years_ without. Nothing would change about just a few months! He could consider it to be like on a mission to Namek. Sure, you're stuck in a stuffy little spaceship that's badly decorated for a while, but you eventually get to your destination. 

But I could've always been wrong.

And boy was I ever! Goku'd trained a few days. Wow! Surprise, ne? Then he sat around moping a few days. And then, well... then the unthinkable happened. Bulma believes it was a bad chemical reaction in the brain. Bra thinks he was bored. Videl thinks he wanted to be helpful. Pan thinks it's funny! My husband. Son Goku, as in, macho, He-man fighter club Goku... oh... it's just so... _He cleaned._

I know! I know! I was just as shocked as you are! Goku! _My_ Goku! Cleaning! I almost called the World Record people! Actually, I did, but they laughed at me. They didn't seem to believe that a formally dead man was cleaning my house. According to Bra, this happened at first to Goten... but I dunno about that. I find _that_ harder to believe than Goku.

Anyway, I'm getting off track. Goku was cleaning with the vacuum. Rubbing it mercilessly over the carpet, as he'd (I'd later find out) seen me do a million times before. I watched from the doorway. He didn't notice me at first I suppose, because he suddenly became very surprised and very determined at the same time. 

He'd cleaned up to a a corner, and this corner was particularly difficult to vacuum with the nozzle he'd been using. Never fear though! He smiled back at me, bending over and holding the uncovered hose at his waist, digging through the box to find the correct topper. I gestured my hand to encourage him, for he'd been doing a good job. The look on his face turned to horror however, and for a moment I thought I'd accidentally given him the finger! 

"Goku!" I said, alarmed by his frightened expression, "Goku! What's wrong?!" 

"It's stuck..." he said, holding the hose in both hands, and a terrified expression ridden all over her face, "It's stuck and I can't move it..." he muttered, in complete fear. I looked shocked at first. He gotten the hose _stuck_? How many people actually manage _that_? Then again, this _was_ Goku we were talking about... 

"Okay Goku, let me see..." I said calmly approaching him, as if a mere touch would set him off. "It'll be okay Goku... I'll make it all better..." I extended one hand to get to the hose, slightly afraid of his reactions. "I just have to give it a little tug and it'll be just-" 

"No!" he yelled, bending over further and holding his hands over the hose once more, "Do. not. touch. it." he ordered, staring me in the face, "leave. it. alone." he shuffled his feet so he would be facing the wall, "Any pulling of it many cause much pain," he informed me sternly, and yet, intelligently, "too much pain!" 

Now I know what you're thinking. This can't be right. The infamous Goku, savior of the world so many times, afraid of a little pain?! What's this world coming to? Most men wouldn't want any woman doing this either. I know Vegeta wouldn't. Gohan would blush at the mere thought of even mentioning that he'd gotten a vacuum hose stuck. Goten might let you. Trunks wouldn't tell you. He'd sit there for days, and even if he had to go to work, he'd go clad in a vacuum hose. 

At the thought of Gohan, I decided to call my son. Perhaps he could get his father to stand up straight and let us remove the stupid thing. Gohan was a smart boy. He admired his dad, he wouldn't want him to be doing this to himself. I backed away from Goku slowly, smiling warmly, "Okay Goku... you stay right there... don't move a muscle..." 

And I was off! I dashed into the kitchen, where Goku wouldn't be able to hear me, not even with that damned Saiya-jin hearing. I reached out for the phone, bringing it into me, and for the first time, I started to laugh. This was too much. Maybe it was a you-had-to-be-there moment, but it made me laugh beyond all thought. There was Goku, in the living room, with a hose stuck to him! And in such a place... Goku, didn't anyone ever tell you to be careful?! 

I dialed my son, feeling he'd know what to do, "Gohan!" I said as he answered the phone, "Gohan!" I repeated, "You and Videl have to come over right away! Goku has an emergency!" My son's voice was panicked as he asked why they had to come. If it was so bad, he didn't want to see, "Nonsense Gohan. You need to help you father, and I need Videl here..." I started to giggle again, "as a witness!" 

Gohan was puzzled, but told me he'd be there shortly. I sat next to Goku on the couch and waited patiently. Goku kept looking at me, as if begging me to do something. I answered his plea nonchalantly, "If I can't even touch the hose Goku, I can't do anything to help you. It's either you let me touch it, or you sit there with a hose on for the rest of your life." 

"ChiChi," Goku murmured, "it hurts _anyway_." 

Before I could respond my door burst open to reveal my son, in a horrorstricken expression, standing in the doorway. He came rushing in, with a very confused Videl right behind him. He made his way quickly to the living room, somehow managing to run into a table along the way, "Dad!" he shouted, "Dad are you- How the _hell_ did you do **that**?!" 

Videl looked timidly out from behind him, a smile quickly spreading across her features. She placed a hand over her mouth, trying her best to keep form laughing out loud. I noticed her cling to Gohan's back to stay standing, and immediately disappearing behind his back. I could still hear her laughing minutes later, by that time, I'd assumed, she was trying to figure out how Goku'd gotten a hose stuck there. 

Even my dear Gohan looked as if someone speaking would make his burst into a flood of laughs. 

*** 

By the time dinner came around, the whole clan was there. Even Piccolo. We all sat there in a circle around my hubby, wondering what we were going to do with him. Goku still looked like a deer staring into the headlights of a minivan. 

Videl was laughing softly into a Kleenex in the corner of the room. She'd calmed down for a while, but she couldn't help but take up laughing again when the Briefs' walked in, and stared at Goku for over fifteen minutes. She was trying not to, I could tell, but it was no avail. 

Gohan was watching his father with a worried look. He'd become concerned as soon as he'd calmed himself from his urge to laugh hysterically. He was, I assume, trying to think of a way to get his dad out of this terrible disposition without causing too much damage, unlike Piccolo's suggestion of just ki blasting it off. Gohan had been the first to point out that the disappearance of important body parts would certainly be removed with that course of action. 

Bulma found this whole situation very intriguing. She'd started taking notes as soon as she's come to our house. Well, she did after she screamed at Vegeta for wearing his pink boa into the house. She'd exclaimed how stupid he looked with a bunch of pink feathers surrounding his face. I'd asked her were he'd gotten such an ugly thing, she'd told me he found it in Bra's old toy box. 

Vegeta laughed too. He didn't try and be polite and muffle it as best he could. He saw my poor Goku, and shouted, "Look at Kakarott! Look at him! Finally denounced to the role of a common housewife! A mere _woman_!" Several people decided to make it a point that he was the one who walked in there looking like a drag queen. He'd didn't appreciate it too much. I have no idea why... 

Krillin found it very amusing. But he felt sorry for his friend. His wife said he'd had it coming. Marron started to cry. Uubu'd come with him, and he leaped to his old teacher, grabbing the hose and almost pulling for Goku started to scream for him to stop. He'd backed away and sat with Marron in the corner, they both felt miserable for their old friend. 

Trunks didn't laugh in fact. He took this very seriously. And for sometime, I almost wondered if the same thing had happened to him at some point! He started suggesting solutions right away. Everyone added their two cents to his ideas, because they got more and more off the wall with everyone he'd mentioned. 

Pan was in the back room. As soon as she saw her Grandfather her eyes filled up with tears. Everyone had thought that she would cry like her friend Marron had, but instead, she threw herself the floor laughing, "Grandpa! What the **hell** did you do?! Didn't Grandma tell you not to mess with electrical appliances?!" 

I have no doubt that this was the most embarrassing moment in Goku's life. He looked like he was on the verge of tears. I patted his back helpfully, "No worries Goku. Goten and Bra aren't here yet. Maybe... err... Bra can help you." He let out a soft howl, and I figured I wasn't helping too much. 

"Anyone around? What seems to be the dilemma?" Bra asked as they walked into the room. Bra froze like a stone, and Goten walked closer, picking up a spoon. He came closer to his father, holding the spoon in front of him, and poking him in the head. 

"Who are you and what have you done with my father?" he asked, his eyes going from person to person, each one shrugging when they made eye contact. 

"Goten," I said, in slight hopes that he may know what to do, "Your dad has gotten the hose of the vacuum caught on...himself... and he don't know how to get it off, " my eyes pleaded with him, because if we didn't solve this, I'd have to be up with Goku all night, "Do you have any ideas?" 

Goten paced around his father slowly, taking in the sight from every ange. He rubbed his chin as he walked, looking sternly at each of us. He serious face coming into a smile, "Unplug it." 

"HUH?" 

Goten started laughing, "This is the no-sound vacuum Gohan and I got Mom last Christmas. You can't hear it making that sucking noise. If you turn off the vacuum, and pull off the hose, Dad'll be fine." He informed us, then he turned to me, "So, when's dinner?" 

Some things have the stupidest solutions. 

That's that, 

ChiChi 

****** 

Again, I'm SO sorry! I will never never never have that long of a gab between chapters! Never never never! 

The next chapter is going to be in interlude- Month 1 is up. 

REVIEW!! REVIEW!! REVIEW!!! 

E-mail me at: SSJ2Inochi@dbzmail.com 

Thank you for reading, 

Ino. 


	8. Rule 1 Never Let Them Overheat

I'm living!

Okay.... maybe this did take a while to post... but yeah. I had more homework this week than you would believe! Here's the next chapter! Enjoy it!

Disclaimer: NOT MINE GUYS!!!!

E-mail: SSJ2Inochi@dbzmail.com

******

"I can't believe this," Trunks muttered as he glared over the steering wheel of his company car, "I _really_ can't believe this!" his head found it's way to the top of the steering wheel. He began hitting it repeatedly, mumbling about how he couldn't believe this. He moaned angrily after each smack, and his hair swung everywhere as his head repeated the whacking sound.

"What can't you believe Trunks?" I asked, looking at him in as if he had some deadly disease. I knew why he was distraught. We'd been sitting in this car, on this street, on this sheet of concrete, on the same damn pebbles for the past forty-five minutes. But this time it wasn't my fault. In fact, I'm beginning to wonder if any of the adventures Trunks and I have over this whole ordeal will be caused by me...

Bra had called me earlier and asked to go shopping. Even though I personally don't care for shopping, I _know_ Trunks hates it. He'd have to take us too, because Goten never got a driver's license. Besides, CC company car was so nice! Fake leather seating (the company doesn't believe in the death of animals apparently), air conditioning, heating,... everything I could want. Goten didn't like it I don't think, something about it not being sporty enough.

The day in shopping had been boring in itself. We shopped. We walked. Bra looked at stuff. Goten bought the stuff. Trunks fell asleep in 'Penny's. We ate. We got band from yet another restaurant. We shopped more. Trunks started to whine about having to go to the bathroom. I got really bored.

When the day finally ended, the only one who wasn't running faster than the speed of light to the car was Bra. Bra walked sadly to car, as though she was mourning someone's death. Her head hung low, and I swear I could hear some muffled sniffles. It was really a pathetic sight. 

Apparently Trunks agreed. He stood by the car door, laughing and leaning against the large automotive machine. "Awww," he said, snickering the whole time, "Bra's leaving mall! And she won't be able to see you for another..." he looked at his watch quickly, "ten hours! She'll miss you!" 

He dodged a flying high heel. 

And that should bring you close to up to speed. Now here we were, inside this car. For an hour. A whole hour. Of nothing but sitting here. I really had to pee. Trunks wouldn't let me leave. He seemed to believe that if I left, all the cars would start up and drive off. And if that happened, he wouldn't be waiting around for me. He also seemed to forget that I can fly... 

But I was obedient. I sat there. I crossed my legs, and tried to cool off. It was getting pretty warm inside this stuff car, and Trunks didn't want to turn on the air. He'd said it would use up vital gas. Well, maybe it would... but dammit. I was warm! 

Trunks was getting angrier and angrier by the second. And he wasn't the only one! Goten and Bra were so _angry_ about being stuck here... so _mad_... so down right _livid_ about this that... they fell asleep in the back seat. 

Trunks had tried turning up the radio to drown out Goten's snoring. I began to wonder how Bra could sleep through that obnoxious sound, now or any other time. Bra wasn't snoring, but didn't even cringe at the loud noise escaping her husband's nose. 

And, as if he were awake to hear the sound in the speakers going up, the volume of Goten too rose. It got rather uncomfortable for me. Not only did I have to pee, but now my Uncle was snoring so loud I couldn't hear my favorite song on the radio... he would pay... He would pay dearly... 

Trunks' mind wasn't on my uncle though. It was on the green light fifty feet away. Or more amply, the moron who was driving the car, not moving, behind the green light. He growled at the sight of it, pissed off to no end, "Come on pal! It's _green_! What's wrong? Don't you **like** that shade?" 

I stared at him, totally understanding and agreeing with his message to the asshole. 

"I can't believe Goten made me drive," Trunks said, hiding himself behind the wheel. "This is all his fault. When he wakes up, I'm going to kick his ass," he growled, though thought one was quietly followed by thought two, "but don't tell him that," he said, turning to look at me, "because then he'll kick _my_ ass." 

I laughed, sitting back on my seat, and trying once more to max out the volume, and beat out uncle Goten. I once again,... failed. 

Trunks was getting angry again. He didn't talk this time. He glared at the window, as if the car he'd chosen out of the sea before us would move under his gaze. It wasn't working... He growled loudly, punching the side of the car as hard as he could without breaking through it. I watched in wonder as he removed his hand from the door, leaving a large dent behind. Heh... heh... Trunks... what was that about? 

And then the air came. Like a light breeze. Flowing into the car, and cooling me down. I was happy, to say the least. I finally had cold air! Thank you Dende! 

I almost have to wonder if the driver in front of us could hear Trunks. Our lane started to move. For the first time in what seemed like my adult life we moved (I'm going to pretend I wasn't over twenty when we got here either). As we generally passed the cars in the other lanes, I noticed Trunks lifting his fingers in the V is for victory sign, wishing the other drivers good luck, "Yeah, peace buddy. Have a nice day. Hope you have fun. Did you just honk at my wife, pervert? Okay, you don't get the first finger in the V." 

The sudden movement caused my uncle and best friend to wake. They watched with bug eyes as we passed other cars, and for a moment, I think they may have thought those cars were moving. It wasn't until we passed the green light post that my Uncle finally spoke, "Are we moving?" 

"Yes!" Trunks shouted happily, "That idiot in the front of the line finally decided to move! Bra- get out a piece of paper, we're going to write a very _strongly_ worded letter to the head of the police. We are going to let them know that the President of Capsule Corp. and the granddaughter were stuck in traffic for several hours without assistance. They are going to be in deep trouble..." 

I'd noticed it was getting colder in the car since the air conditioner went on. And not the 'Duh Pan,... that air conditioner is on... _that_ would be the point!' It was cold! I tried to pull down the end of my sleeves, only to have my hands sticking out from a short-sleeved shirt. 

Trunks had begun explaining to his passengers about bad drivers. What were, and what weren't. He of course, was a good driver. But a bad driver, for example, was the guy in front of us, who was going rather slow, and had had his left blinker on for the past ten minutes. 

"Trunks," I said, rubbing my arms, "do you think it's getting colder in here? I mean, like colder than the air conditioning was supposed to? I'm getting rather chilly." 

I could hear Bra shiver in the back seat. Apparently, they'd been freezing for a while, but didn't want to bother Trunks. And who would? I wouldn't want to in his rampage against the blinker man, passing him with his figure in the up-right position. His only response from the guy, was a pound on his horn, that sounded much like a Mexican music. 

"Maybe," Trunks muttered, and revealing that he'd been keep himself warm by only moving that one arm. "But don't worry, we're almost to the small road before home. Then we can open a door or something. All will be fine." he stated, matter-of-factly, and wishing the the woman driving the ford next to us a _Merry Christmas_, in the middle of July. 

We laughed. That was kinda funny. I crossed my legs, quickly remembering that I do to use the restroom. Laughing wasn't helping, "Stop that Trunks," I said, in a slight orderish tone, "I'm going to pee my pants, and then we'll have pissicles in here." 

The rest of our trip was uneventful. Goten noticed a squirrel on the way home, and tried to make Trunks run it over. Bra was the first to hang her head out the door as we pulled up to our house. I leaped out, and flew to the bathroom, more than needing to go. 

The next chapter is Bra's. I hope you like mine. Jaa ne! 

-Pan 

***** 

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C-ya later! 


	9. Rule 2 Let No Problem Go Unnoticed

Hi Minna-chan!

This is the rather short chapter for now. But that isn't all I have to treat you with... no. I also have a website! Yes, Ino has a website! It's hardly anything special! And it has a newspaper layout! YAY! 

http://silverinochi_briefs.tripod.com

Also, please _**REVIEW**_! Or e-mail me! 

*****

Sometimes, men have problems. Well, everyone has problems, but most men problems are different from women problems. They don't walk into a stall at work once a month, and start muttering 'Oh shit!' - sometimes in several different languages - and digging for change to buy a tampon.

The don't own a pair of thin pants and a pair of fat pants. They don't have that daily internal struggle as you stare at one pair as if begging that your thighs suddenly drop a size and a half so you could wear them. They just pull them up as far as the pants are willing to go, then strap on a belt.

But there are some things that only men can do. There are some things so embarrassing, that most women never learn about these problems. And I ladies, I, Son Bra, am about to reveal a problem my husband had that he was so nervous about he was almost too embarrassed to even _show_ me.

And we're going to throw a party on this day every year.

"Bra, could you come in here?" My husband asked me, in a voice that startled me somewhat, like the one that thirteen-year-old girls mumble in when they're trying to tell their mothers about their first period. And boy, oh boy- did I ever hope that I wouldn't have had to show my poor husband, Goten, how to use a pad! How humiliating would that be?

"Sure Goten," I said in my best, motherly voice, "I'll be in there in a minute." I wiped my hands absently on a towel as I walked out of the kitchen and up to our bedroom door. I placed my hand calmly on it, as if I were asking it some permission to enter, "What do you need Goten?"

There the poor man sat, legs apart a tad and his hands twiddling his thumbs while resting his elbows on them, "I think I might have to see a doctor," he mumbled, in a voice so low I could hardly hear him. I knew whatever was going on was obviously bothering him, but then again,.... I _was_ my mother's daughter...

"Excuse me Goten?" I asked, looking at him with a concerned expression, "What do you think? After you got that far into the sentence you started mumbling. I may be a female Saiya-jin, but I couldn't hear a word you said there hun."

He returned my look with a doubtful look of horror, "I think I might have to see a doctor..." he mumbled again, only louder this time, so he could prove that he wasn't afraid our house was bugged or something. Quite a funny sight if I do say so myself...

"Why?" I asked, perhaps too quickly. You have to be concerned when your husband of almost a year finally breaks down to the point where _he_ tells _you_ that he needs to see a doctor. But I'm sorry! I just have to laugh when Goten gets all nervous about telling me things! It's not like I'd laugh or something! Well,... not _hard_ anyway...

Goten looked from side to side, only letting on that _why_ was the more humiliating part of this gruesome process. He looked at me with a panic in his eyes, "I have a bump," he said, standing. He looked at me, almost begging to not ask where.

"Now, now Goten," I smiled, placing my hands over his, giving him that, '_I'll-love-you-no-matter-what-you've-done-this-time_' look. "if you want me to help you solve your problem, you're going to need to tell me _where_ exactly, this bump is. You just tell me, or show me, and I'll call up the doctor. Okay?"

His look was of pure horror, and for the first time in a few weeks, I got flashbacks to the look on poor Goku's face when his son was the one to figure out how to get the vacuum off of him. He sat down next to me again, untying his bathrobe, and pointing low to where a tiny little bump lay.

I can only assume that my immaturity kicked in just then, as I got a devilish look on my face, "You have a bump on your-" my mouth was covered by a firm Saiya-jin hand, as Goten nodded in response. He pushed me forward, as if forcing me to leave him and his bump to some private time.

***

"I can't believe you Bra," he said, as he sat in his seat on the table in the doctors office, clinging to the back of his hospital gown, and frowning upon me, "Why'd you insist on coming in? And did you have to say it so loud? I mean... there _were_ other people there."

"They didn't stay long," I pointed out, in my frail attempt to add some humor to this male-tragedy. I opened a magazine and grinned at him, pretending that the people had all been called to another appointment or something of the sort.

Goten was in no way amused about this, "Only because they didn't want to stick around the blue-haired psycho woman who came in almost yelling about her husband having a bump on his... in his..." he mumbled, trying to find the right word.

"Winky?" I supplied, turning the page of my magazine and looking hopefully at the door.

"Yes, my winky," he said without thinking. The main reason I knew this was because, aside from the fact that Goten usually doesn't think before he talks anyway, he began sputtering right away and scrambling for a word to replace it, "No! No! The ummm... the ummmmm..."

"Hello Mr. Son," the doctor said, walking in and smiling at Goten and I. We returned the gesture, pretending we had not been arguing about why we were here. What? He didn't need to know that Goten didn't want to be here! "So Mr. Son, what seems to be the problem?"

Hee hee... maybe he would after all. 

"I have a bump in a..." Goten blushed, quickly turning his eye sight to the wall beyond the doctor's shoulder, "Well, it's in a bit of a private place. It's pretty embarrassing... I don't know if I really want you to see-"

"Could you try and make this as short as possible?" I asked my husband, shifting uncomfortably in my seat. I placed the magazine I was reading on the table and scooted to the edge of the chair, "We are supposed to meet your niece and my brother at the mall in a half hour. It's not going to kill you Goten, just watch," I said, turning quickly to the doctor, "he's got a tiny little bump downtown, okay? Look at it, tell him it's nothing, and let us leave!"

Doctor nodded at me, "Can't I have a peek at it Goten?" he asked, dropping the mister. And one would hope so! I mean, I personally never called Goten mister anything... but seeing as we were looking at _this_ part of the male anatomy... well...

Goten's gaze shot back to the doctor, "Do you have to look at it?"

"Yes I do Goten," the doctor said, shaking his head, "If I don't _look_ at it, then I can't tell you what it is. Okay? It'll only take a few minutes." The doctor moved closer to him, and Goten only backed away. I grabbed Goten, and pulled up the end of his hospital gown.

"Is that all you need to see?"

***

Trunks laughed hysterically, putting his paper fast-food cup on the table, and placing a hand on top of his wife's head, who'd tipped over in her giggling. "So it was nothing serious? Nothing we could have blamed your stupid festival on?"

Goten had found his soda simply amazing as soon as I brought up why we were so late at the table, "No," I told, I myself starting to laugh, "just a pimple. Here it took Goten a good ten minutes to work up to nerve to actually say what was bothering him, and then after her got the diagnosis, he started yelling about how he was going to get a second opinion... didn't ya honey buns?"

Bubbles being blown in his soda was my only response.

Okay guys... that's it for me. I have to go help poor Goten put on some Zit-Cream. Jaa!

-Son Bra

*****

Okay guys, I hope you liked this one. I'd also like to say, I held no offense to anyone who has a car horn like the one in the chapter before this one. I love them horns.

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	10. Rule 3 Never Have Parties Without Superv...

Hi guys! 

Sorry this took me so long, and I'm glad someone opened their mouth about it to me. I'm so lazy... and of course, I've been on what Jaclenia would call a 'crap streak'. It only took me a few drafts this time... but the idea wouldn't come to me. Again, I'm sorry... and I thank those of you who still read this!

It hasn't been edited, and if you want, I will revise this chapter. Sorry it stinks. 

I'm also plotting my next fanfic. I think the fans of this one will enjoy it.

Disclaimer: *cricket sound in the background* Do you have my paycheck?

***

While I have little to no idea why I am writing this down in my log, for most of you think you have a good grip on what your husbands were doing on Saturday night, I had nothing more interesting to write. As you are currently aware, your husbands were at my place of residence while I was 'out for the eveing' so they could watch the 'fight.' They'd promptly invited all their friends.

Now, with the way I worded that, I'm sure you're wondering what else they could have possibly been doing. I'm not going to lie to you, they were at my house, and they were watching movies. Such a harsh and painful truth. But I digress. What they were watching could have easily been mistaken for a fight... but of the men there, the only one who would have mistaken such a thing for a fight would be Goku.

Are you getting this yet?

If not, let me simplify this for you. This was a fight that occurred in a bedroom, from what I made of it, a rather LARGE bedroom. This fight usually occurs between a man and a woman, though there are exceptions. Screams, moans, and yells are usually high in pitch and volume, and in a few old movies, opera is sung. After all panting and other vulgar sounds are done, there is occasionally the lighting of cigarettes. Get it now? I thought you would. Now... if you don't have it yet... they were watching porn movies. Okay, so how does a rather resourceful group of grown men cover up the fact that they are going something like this?

Invite Piccolo.

Sure, they could have invited Dende. But in Piccolo's questioning afterward, I heard the - literally - cocky Prince of the Saiya-jins yell, 'That _damn_ guardian of Earth said he would feel cheap! So why not invite the blunt Namek?' Well! I'd have been insulted if I was Piccolo! I do know he didn't act on any fury he'd have had. Because I had to visit neither Dende nor Vegeta in the ICU.

I'm sure by now you're thinking... 'If she was out for the night... how does she know all this?' That, my friends, is an easy answer! Gohan started his evening rather excited and anxious for me to leave our home so he and the guys could have their little party. I agreed to leave them go, and went into our room to get myself ready. Vegeta ran through our doors a few minutes later, obviously not knowing I was still home. 

"I got the stuff brat, who'd you invite?" He asked, setting himself down in front of the television and picking up the remote. I hadn't imagined that Vegeta would know how to function one of those, but apparently he could. 

I wasn't the only one surprised. 

"Vegeta! Do you know how to work one of those?" Gohan asked, stepping forward in order to get our channel-changing device from the hands of the might Prince of the Saiya-jins. Vegeta snapped his arm back, holding it out of Gohan's reach. 

"Of course I do, brat," he said, punching in two numbers and turning on some cartoons, "how difficult can it be after all? My sorry excuse for offspring can do this with his eyes closed. What should keep me, the mighty Prince of the Saiya-jins from going the same brat? Are you saying I'm incapable?" 

"No! Of course not Vegeta! It's just that that TV..." he paused as a soft BANG came from the remote, followed by an easy and steady flow of smoke, "was rather expensive... I guess that defies telling you not to break it, huh?" 

"We'll just make Kakarott change the channels." 

I sighed, returning to my hair, which was not agreeing with my command. And it had no respect for hairspray. It just kept... sticking up. I hit it with my hand. Nothing. I brushed it. Nothing. Doesn't hair know it's supposed to obey the hand that washes it! 

After deciding that my hair would never obey me, I left the room, and left the house. Vegeta went into and uproar at Gohan for not informing him of my remaining existence. My curiosity rose when he mentioned something about almost blowing the cover they had so sneakily put together (and adding quite evilly that "Kakarott" had not taken part). 

I hid in the bushes as the rest of their crew arrived. Krillin, Goku, Goten, Trunks, and Piccolo. I had to climb the big tree right outside the window of Gohan and my house to see inside, and had to press my ear against the window to get what they said. But eavesdropped I did. 

Krillin had a kinky look on his face until he popped in the video. Gohan tensed right away in his little arm chair, and I could almost _feel_ the wood of the arm rest break as he gripped it hard. His eyes watched the screen intently, and his face scrunched up a few times. 

Trunks seemed to relax during the movie, as he watched and waited for something good to come on. I almost got the feeling that he'd done this before, the way he acted toward the moving lights on the screen was with outstanding control. 

Goten looked... confused. It was almost like he didn't understand what was going on. I felt kinda sorry for Bra. Didn't Goten know what was going on? Wait... There! Now that's the dawning look of realization! He gets it now! Good boy! 

Goku laughed and giggled like a little boy. You know, the red tint your face gained when the teacher came up in front of class and said that word that made you laugh. The word that scared some children for life after they walked in on their parents. The word that would forever be substituted with _it_. 

Vegeta actually treated it as if it were a fight. He stood up a few times, yelling at them, or cheering them on. His face turned red with rage, as he pointed an stopped his feet. He was angry, he wanted this over with. He wanted it now. 

I'm not exactly sure what Piccolo thought of the whole thing. He kinda... stared at the TV, before standing before the other men. He mentioned something about having to vomit, and then excused himself from the room. I didn't see him the rest of the night. 

You many wonder if I still have a Namek living in my closet. No, Piccolo was gone the next morning... when Gohan woke me from my place back inside... the bushes. Apparently I fell alseep watching their fun little plot against all of woman kind. I had to think of a cover... 

So I told him I fell asleep while trying to pee. 

So... now you know! Jaa! 

**** 

I know, it's short. I know it stinks. But it's the best I can do for now! Thanks for reading! 

-Ino 

P.S. ... 

_**REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW!**_


	11. Rule 4 Don't Say I Didn't Tell You So

Hi everyone!

I don't think this chapter took as long as the last one. Again I'm sorry for my delay. My stupid teacher ran away for a free vacation this past week, leaving a sub and a pile of homework. I must remember to thank her. And then we have me and my little math and all associated deficiency. Nevertheless, here is the chapter you've waited for. I know not my opinion on it. But I'm sure you guys are going to like it.

Disclaimer: Dragon Ball and all its parts are not mine. I did spend all the money I have on the uncut versions of the two tapes with the newest DBZ episodes on it. You know... those tapes that hold episodes not shown on TV yet... Dude... I think I heard a DBZ character say "love" for the first time in that- will someday be married sort of way. ^^;; Anywho... 

SSJ2Inochi@dbzmail.com

silverinochi_briefs.tripod.com

******

The day had finally arrived. I hadn't been looking forward to it. Vegeta's photos would be on the cover of a magazine this morning, and every paper boy in town held them within their bags. Vegeta rose that morning with an unusual smile on his face, and he didn't bother to complain about breakfast not being ready as he merrily skipped out of our bedroom.

He was oddly chipper the rest of the day. _He_ made _me_ enough breakfast to feed a Saiya-jin army, and when neither of us could finish, he merrily offered to go give some to the Sons, whom he was sure would be able to finish it off.

I secretly checked to make sure no one drugged him.

I caught him an hour or so later, playing with the CD player, and listening to _Vogue_ by Madonna. He pranced around the room, twirling around in circles, and raising his hands in the air. Every time he heard her say, "Strike a pose!" he'd stop and do so... I began to wonder who's sanity was in question here... his or mine?

And the hours ticked on...

As we inched ever closer to eleven a.m., he started to get antsy. He'd invited everyone over, so he could witness the looks on their faces as 'the beauty and glory of his fantastic body shone for all to see.' I was most certainly hoping most of that body was going to be left for me, and me alone to see.

I didn't feel I had too much to worry about. I'd seen it all, as you know, and most of them wouldn't like it at all. I can only assume poor Trunks would be emotionally disturbed for the rest of his sorry being, while Pan would look upon the picture with a new understanding. I mean, I didn't really have much to give Trunks other than a brain- where that brain is located is beyond my control.

When the _thwack_! of the paper hit the door, Vegeta practically broke through the door just to get his muscular hands onto it. He waved pleasantly at the paperboy, handing him a very beautiful tip, and causing the boy to say, "I knew it! All the other kids said you were a major prick! But I knew they were wrong!"

And evil smirk played across Vegeta's face, "Oh brat," he mumbled, tapping the paper against his hand in a semi-threatening way, "I wouldn't give them the wrong idea. I _am_ a big prick."

I - in horror of some sort of assault case coming across us- slammed the door in the boy's face, quickly informing that him had only been telling a very bad joke. Vegeta hadn't appreciated this comment, because it 'Gave Kakarott a new level to be better than him at'. 

Didn't last long,... I mean- this was his moment of truth.

Everyone gasped at what they saw. It was amazing. It was amusing. It was something you would want to frame. It was worthy of a time capsule. If they ever make a tribute to the Saiya-jins, or even to Capsule Corps., this magazine should be featured countless times. Everyone in the room started to yell and fight over who would get the magazine. The picture was just... indescribable...

Vegeta dressed as Sailor Moon.

"Oh Dende!" Goten said, holding the magazine momentarily in the air, "You wonderful guardian of this planet you! You really do love us, don't you?"

Trunks pulled out his wallet, removing from it a handful of fresh, crisp dollar bills. "One hundred... Two hundred... Three hundred... Dude!" he shouted, hugging the money to him, and doing a small victory dance, "I can buy the store out of these! Ha ha! Have a copy in every room- a new one for every day of the week for the next five years!" he turned to the door of his former place of residence to find as many newsstands as possible, screaming out, "This'll teach you to beat me up!" along the way.

"Oh this is rich!" Gohan said, opening to an apparently special feature on Vegeta's personal life, " listen to this title: **_The Softer Side of The Nameless Capsule Corp. Husband_**." He turned a page, "_By now, most of us have heard of the Son-in-Law of the famous Dr. Briefs, but what we do not know is the man inside. What is the history of the man we see with Bulma Briefs, and what's true in the stereotype?_" Gohan paused before he let out a loud laugh, "Everything."

Pan retrieves it next, "_We met with Vegeta on Saturday of last week, in a small diner. He put on his usual cheery face as we greeted him. As it turns out, the poor man was ripped from his home at a young age, and found himself on the doorsteps of Capsule Corp., after saving Bulma's life. The young man was nursed to perfect health by the former President of Capsule Corps., and not soon after came a very joyous day- his wedding." _she folded the thing under her arm, "Hmm,... funny. I didn't think you guys got married until long after I was out of High School. According to this, you married before Trunks was even born. Do you have any pictures?"

Bra took the paper from her best friend, "_He recollects as he talks with us the two happiest moments of his life- when his two children were born. First, we have Trunks: Most wanted by the ladies and recently married current President of the Capsule Dynasty. Followed by Bra, the young beauty-queen daughter and a princess of hearts. Vegeta says even though his two babies' weddings were less than two years apart, he was more than pleased to learn that this children were not only madly in love, but were meant for two descendants of his old friend: Son Goku._" Bra smiled sweetly at her father and in a very daughterly fashion, patted his back, "Aww, what a bunch of bullshit."

Vegeta's face was red with rage, as he pounded the wall- and to my relief, turned back to his normal self. He turned to run out the door, screaming about the downfall of the press and how humans were such an unjust people. He hated all of us, and we'd be lucky if he came home.

Most of us didn't think so.

The friends and family soon left, starting with Pan, after Trunks called to inform her that he'd made a huge business venture, and would be coming home with a semi full of magazine's with his father's article. She'd asked him how this was a business venture, and he pointed out how much blackmail they could get out of it.

When finally left to myself, I could plot. This was Vegeta's stupid idea, and while I got the inkling that he'd learned a very good lesson with all of this, and the evils of the press- I had to do something to prove that I had been right. Because I had been. And well, you can't just be right and not rub it in. Especially not with Vegeta. He was the King of rubbing shit in when he was right. It could be such a literal pain in the ass sometimes.

Vegeta did end up coming home around dinner time. I knew he would, too. No Saiya-jin could ever stay out too long. Vegeta couldn't cook and sometimes his appetite could rival Goku's.But not to an empty house. Not to me cooking food. Not to me even in the room waiting. But he did return home to something.

The Sailor Moon theme playing on the CD player.

"Woman!" He yelled, placing his hands on his hips and standing there for a few minutes. I assume that there was supposed to be some kind of affect to go along with this, but it never came to me, and I think he may have sensed this, "Whatever you're trying to say with this- is NOT funny!"

He was silent, however, when a single red rose hit the floor in front of him. His eyes travelled to where it had come from to find me sitting on the railing at the top of the stairs, in complete Tuxedo Mask getup. I mystically adjusted the mask over my eyes beaming down at him, "Never fear pretty lady! Whenever you doubt yourself I will always be here! Faith is within yourself, believe in yourself Sailor Moon!"

"Woman!"

I jumped semi-gracefully from my railing perch, and promptly landed on my ass. "Come on Sailor Moon," I said, taking a step toward him, smirking an evil smirk, "You can do this is you try. And if you do, then I will have every right to say- I TOLD YOU SO! HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

-Bulma Briefs 

****

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	12. Rule 5 All Forms of Business MUST be Mon...

_Hello happy readers! This is the next chapter of the Festival. ChiChi and Goku and their happy little life in their happy little world. I'm sorry about the delay again- but you have to feel sorry for me- I'm recovering from surgery._

_ I would also like to make note of my c-sister's two fanfics that are really good- but hardly reviewed! Confusion (a Truten fic), and Business Man (a humor about Goku and his job) by Jack V. Briefs. Go now! Read them! Of course, read mine first... and review mine first... then go take good care of her- she's new here._

_Disclaimer: Yeah, yeah. It's late, I wanna watch ER and my butt hurts. So let's leave this brief. I don't own DBZ. Don't look at me in that tone of voice! It's true!_

***

Goku was staring at a piece of paper. Now the usual person would be a little afraid of this scene. I mean, walking into the kitchen to see your full-grown husband sitting at the table and staring at a sheet of paper. But this was Goku. Not just any Goku. No, this was a different and totally original Goku. It was _my_ Goku. And my Goku lived up to his sterotype.

C'est la Vie.

I was only mildly startled, for while Goku was staring at said sheet of paper- and it _had_ happened before- it wouldn't have bothered me in the least. I'd seen him looking at blank paper, colored paper, folded paper, paper in the form of an envelope. All kinds. But what tipped me off about this paper was one defining point at which any member of the Z-Senshi would have been in complete and utter shock... this paper had _writing_.

"Goku?" I asked in ritual mock form, approaching him slowly, "Are you okay? Are you feeling well? Did someone die? Is the planet doomed?" I discretely tried to slip the paper away from him, tugging on the end only to be disappointed by the fact that this paper was being held down by none other than Goku's hand, " Are you lightheaded? Are you *reading* something?"

His head turned. But not only did it turn, it turned slowly, inching in my direction tick by tick, a centimeter every second. If I wasn't creeped-out before this moment, I was now. Goku was pulling an Excersist, which meant that Gohan forgot to turn the block back on on the Digital Cable again- damn him. 

The look he gave me struck a cord in my brain. Goku had never given me that look before. His expression lacked a certain clueless ness and stupidity that it usually held. It had strategy, resource, a certain level of wisdom ... and intelligence? This could be a good sign. 

Shit.

A thought struck me again, inducing a double-whammy. Perhaps, in the sense that Gohan had developed an obsession with the bathtub, and Goten and his hate for squirrels, and Vegeta with his disturbing little photo-shoot, and Pan had mentioned something about Trunks and his computer- maybe my Goku had gained a few brain cells.

A new light filled my eyes as I shined on my husband with pride. My Goku was smart after all! This is great! I silently proceeded in thanking Dende and informing him that he was, in fact, the greatest Guardian our planet had ever seen, and upon the day his sorry Green carcass be dragged off this planet, there would be no better one after him.

"ChiChi," Goku said, opening his arms and motioning for me to sit on his lap, which I obliged in doing so, "This could be the best moment of my life," I decided not to take note of the fact that the birth of at least one of his children should hold that title- no less, the day he got married," Today, not just any day, but this day itself, I have made a business venture."

"Oh really?" I asked, totally bemused. Tell me Goku, what have you concocted in that small brain of yours? Life in a cottage on a beach? College for your married son, Goten? Universal destruction? What? "What kind of business venture? Is it anything I can help you with?"

"As a matter of shamck, you can!" Goku said, flashing his trademark smile. The gleam in his eye melted my heart, in that way that you just want to pick him up and give him a big fat hug. It was so cute, it was like- venomous, "I just opened a restaurant, Mr. Goku's Hut of Food Lovin'. And as owner, I hereby dub you, ChiChi, my wife, head cook."

"That's a good one Goku."

*****

Ha. Ha.

Really, as I reflect on it now, I see how fun my husband's business adventure had been. I mean, it provided me valuable family bonding time, doing what I do everyday- cooking and cleaning- only this time I was getting paid. It was rather nice for a change.

Okay, maybe not.

Maybe the only family members who truly enjoyed this were the ones who didn't do anything in this job from hell or and absolutely nothing to do with it. That was mainly those whose names started with "Go-" and all immediate relations to them. I hate them all. They best be very wary at Christmas this year, very wary.

Maybe I didn't like my job at all. I mean, I was _the_ one working. I cooked. I cleaned. I washed. I scrubbed. I counted the money, for Goku couldn't. I had on the ridiculous outfit that Goku had picked out- Pink and green maid uniform. I got laughed at three times a day by my granddaughter Pan.

Maybe I wasn't paid that well. Maybe my piddly little ten cents an hour really pissed me off. Okay? Maybe I was selfish for it. But I wanted more money. Maybe when I was counting the money for Goku, I stole a few dollars. Maybe Goku still sleeps on the couch for it.

Yeah, I loved my new job.

Like a pain in the ass.

Pan liked it though. She'd skip downtown to our cheap and broken-down building and classic Little Red Riding Hood style. She would come and wish me well. And, of course, laugh in my face. I assume, in a similar situation, I would have laughed in hers. It probably would have helped if I had been thinking of this at all. But I wasn't. I thinking more along the lines of homicide. 

Ha. Ha.

Damn you Dende.

Trunks would come with her at lunch. They'd sit together, plotting their little schemes, and laughing as Goku came in wearing Gohan's old yellow suit and played inspector. I vowed then and there to bleach that ugly thing when I got home, and when I had to return it to a teary eyed Gohan, I would tell him to blame his balls and the ones that produced him.

Goku happily featured a surplus of the Vegeta magazine out front, and would keep a copy framed in the dining area, along with a matching mural on the front of the building. I like to think that the extremely large Vegeta in a mini skirt scared away those pesky children.

As far as I know, the building still stands. My job is still intact and I will be going to work tomorrow. But alas, worry not, by the time this festival is over- Mr. Goku's Hut of Food Lovin' will be a few small boards with Vegeta's enlarged ass on them, a Goku mourning sorrowfully at the ruins, and me holding dynamite sticks behind my back.

Until then, farewell...

ChiChi. 

***

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SSJ2Inochi@dbzmail.com

Http://silverinochi_briefs.tripod.com/


	13. WARNING 1 The Use Of Alcohol May Result ...

I LIVE!

Okay, so it's been longer than forever between this chappy and the last. *Hides* I'm sorry! I know! I know! But it's the end of the school year and those stupid teachers want us to dedicate our very BEING to school. So I'm sorry, the next one will be out sooner, I swear!

I didn't even edit it... not that I ever do...

Disclaimer: I don't even own myself. Go away. 

****

No force in heaven or hell could make me forget what happened to Trunks last week. Honestly, it was the strangest most off-center moment I think the poor man has even had the unfortunate luck to encounter to partake in. I mean, *luck* in general is not really something Trunks has ever had an abundance of to begin with... but that not really much of a point in this part of the festival, now is it?

Besides, if any of the Saiya-jin men had some wonderful found of luck in their back yards there wouldn't really be a festival, now would there be? See? Other than the occasional mysterious power-up in the middle of a battle, and the sudden spark in my grandfather's brain to ignite that cell that reminds him- 'oh yeah! I have that one technique that would work GREAT, and I've been simply _dying_ to use it!'

Anyway, the other day Trunks came home from work with his hair all rumpled and his shirt undone. His wedding band was in his pocket, and there was lipstick all over his face and neck. He walked in with a dazed look on his face, and he stumbled a little as he stepped. "Hi dear," he said, stepping across the dinning room floor and sitting in the chair across from me. He had a dopey grin in his face... he looked so stupid. "How was _your_ day?"

I lifted an eyebrow over the letter I was reading. I knew what he was trying to do, and I know what he was trying to get. He wanted it to look like he got laid at work, and he wanted me to prove that I would make him look like a bigger moron. "That's not going to work Trunks," I said, picking a video cassette off the table that had been lying next to the mail, "Your mother dropped this off about an hour before you got home. She said I should watch it right away. Imagine my shock to see the security camera view of my own husband sitting there, rubbing lipstick on his face and then putting some on and kissing it onto his shirt. That's just sick Trunks."

"Damn you mother," Trunks said, rubbing his cheek to remove the lipstick as best he could without it being wiped off with a rag, which of course only made it worse. "I should have known she'd tell you. The traitor. I KNOW she wants this festival to end as much as I do. Goten wants it to, Goku, Dad. All of us. What CAN'T YOU GUYS?"

I completely ignored him, "Here Trunks," I said, handing the letter I'd been reading to him, "This came in the mail for you. Apparently some big charity wants you to go and play basketball with some other big companies to raise money. Sounds like one of those times you can go make a big ass out of yourself for the benefit of others. Sounds like a good way to spend your time. I mean, now at least someone's getting _paid_ for it."

"Very funny Panny," Trunks responded, moving his mouth to mock me and rolling his eyes in every direction. "Maybe you should be a comedian instead of working for your dad. You could be so much more fulfilled that way. You could put that wise-cracking brain to use."

Okay mister, you wanna be a smart-ass?

"Fine," I said, "But you're going to the game anyway."

HA! Bite THAT!

***

My uncle waved to Trunks and me from the booth in which he and his wife were occupying, signaling for us to sit with them. I ran right over to them, while Trunks trotted slowly behind me. His basketball game was a about half hour from then, and he really wasn't looking forward to it. We'd made a sort of bet. If he could win the game for his team, I'd lay off the festival early. He wouldn't win. I had a plan. 

That's why we were meeting with Goten and Bra. 

"Hey Grandma!" I called, waving to the woman behind the window to the kitchen. My Grandmother's face grew sour as she slammed the pot she'd been holding onto the burner of the stove, and nodded angrily in my direction, "Grandma!" I called, "Be careful! You keep slamming stuff around like that and you'll break down half the restaurant!" 

She grumbled in return. I really haven't been able to understand her behavior lately. She seems so much more grouchy since I recommended to Grandpa he make her head cook to have her do something extra with her time. She didn't seem to be enjoying herself. Grandpa said she'd been having fun... 

"I'm going to go to the bathroom," Trunks said, leaving to the co-ed restroom that held no urinal, and no toilet paper. Gee, I sure wish he didn't have to go number two... that'd sure suck. I heard my grandma laugh evilly from behind the counter, and seemingly do a small victory dance. 

"So," I said, turning to my uncle, "Do you have a plan? I mean, I need Trunks to lose this game!" 

"I'd ask why," Goten said, shaking his head with his eyes closed, "but what you two do is far beyond my business. Judging by your past escapades... I'd say it was something dangerous..." he stopped his head movement and looked at me, "Am I right?" 

"For once," I said, resting my chin in my hand, "Trunks and I made a bet, and so I need him to lose this game to win. I know you know how to get Trunks to lose, and I know you brought the materials to be sure. So, let's hear it. How do I beat Trunks?" 

Bra smirked evilly, "Do you have his water bottle?" 

"Yes," I said, opening my purse and pulling out the silver colored jug. It was empty, because Trunks and wanted to get it filled here by my Grandma. She usually gave him blue ice cubes. Though now that I've seen her really mad I'm not so sure she'd do it this time, "What are you going to do?" 

Goten looked from side to side in the diner. He reached behind him, pulling out a small brown bag and placing it on the table. He put the water bottle in front of him, opening it and grinning to himself. He stuck his hand into the brown bag, and pulled out a glass bottle filled with a clear liquid. He put the cap back on the bottle, and on Trunks' water bottle, and handed it back to me. I stared at him in amazement. 

He'd put Vodka in Trunks' water bottle. 

How genius! 

Now I know what you're thinking. Trunks could smell or taste it. Not true, because Trunks came down with a cold, and his nose was totally stuffed. I was so HAPPY! This was not only the most ironic moment of my life, but the joy I had knowing that Trunks would have to wait until the end of the festival was far beyond worth it! 

Trunks came walking out of the bathroom, soaked from head to foot with water, with the distinct sound of gushing water flooding from the toilet behind him as he shut the door, "ChiChi!" he said, squishing across the room, "You have a problem in the co-ed bathroom!" 

My grandma came walking out of the room, trudging angrily and mumbling words that sounded like, "Death," "Burning," and, "Dumb-Ass Husband." 

I looked Trunks over quickly, then stated in a matter-of-fact tone, "It's a good thing you dry quickly. We have to go to the game soon, you're not going to have time to change your clothes. Sorry!" My eyes twinkled at him, and he frowned black at me. He wasn't happy, I was. I win. 

"Whatever," he said, sniffling his nose, "Let's just get out of here. I want to walk past the huge building-sized picture of dad a few times and throw apples. I didn't get to do that all week. Stupid mom. Holding me up at the office. STUPID!" 

I shook my head, and left with him. Who was the stupid one? 

*** 

I'm not going to tell you I was proud of the game Trunks played. The guys on his team knew he was strong, and they believed he would do a wonderful job. He stepped out onto the court in a traditional Saiya-jin form. Proud, strong... and I could tell he hadn't had his water yet. 

The game started out well. Really, it did. He scored several times, running getting passes. He was quickly becoming the star of the team. He had a stupid grin on his face like he thought he was going to get something out of this. I sat back in my seat and returned to grin. I knew he wasn't. 

By half-time the game started looking totally down. Trunks was starting to lag behind his team, and every-so-often when one of the player would call his name to pass to him, he'd stop and say, "What?" and the ball would hit him in the head. I had to cover my mouth so as not to laugh. 

By the last quarter Trunks was drunk. It surprised me that he'd gotten that smashed in one bottle of Vodka. But then again, this was Trunks... I'd never thought it would happen to him. Now he'd get hit in the head with the ball every time someone passed to him, ever shot in the right direction, and at one point even stopped to ask the ref what to do with the ball. I almost died I was laughing so hard. 

I ended up dragging him to the car, where Bra and Goten waited impatiently. Goten was smiling brightly, "Wow Trunks! That Vodka in your water bottle got you SMASHED!" He laughed, covering his mouth, "I've never seen a greater show in all my life!" 

"Vodka?" Trunks asked looking up at him, obviously sobering up, "What Vodka?" 

"We put Vodka in your water bottle so you'd lose the game!" Goten said, crossing his arms and showing his inability to keep a secret in wondrous glory. "And we did. So you lost the bet with Pan. She's a really smart girl you know, take after Goha-" 

"THE BET WAS TO GET US OUT OF THE FESTIVAL YOU DUMB FUCK!" Trunks screamed, hurling himself at Goten and tackling him to the ground. They started rolling around and yelling at each other in nasty fits of rage. 

Bra and I watched from the side lines, eyebrows arched on our forehead, "So," Bra finally said, as the men continued to roll around, "How about a burger?" 

"Sure." 

That's this chapter. In the words of that psycho kid I used to sit in front of in history: "Peace and Prosperity!" 

*** 

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Don't forget the following author: 

_Jack V. Briefs_ - Now go read her stuff! 


	14. WARNING 2 Subject May Not Be Able To Fun...

Peace and Prosperity minna.

I know, Ino's been a bad girl again... Ino begs her forgiveness, she's a rather busy girl. She's got parties for graduation to go to and a whole bunch of stuff to draw and a PILE of stuff to write. Ranging from Angel Soft, Jac, Paddy, and my next writing project, fics for RPs I'm in (see my profile for specifics), and rebuilding my site... I got loads of stuff to do. As soon as I get this done I will. I hope to start the first drafts of my next fic soon. Don't count on it though.

Anyway, this is the next chapter of the festival. No worries my friends, we have at least one more go around with our couples, and the Festival isn't ending soon. PARTY! We love this fic anyway, don't we?

Disclaimer: No, I do not claim the rights to your products. Please do not bother me again *click*.

*****

I love my Goten. Really, I do. He's a sweet, sweet man who'd never hurt a fly no matter what it did to him. He'll lay his life on the line to save another creature, and, bless him; he'll try to befriend them all. That's just the way my Goten is. Everybody loves him dearly. Okay, okay, okay, maybe not _everyone_, per say, but close. Very, very close. Close to the points that if he ever met someone who hated him from the get go, most people would fall over dead. I mean it, they would. 

Most of the rage a man holds inside his being is never released. He usually holds it inside until it's completely unbearable- and then dies of a heart attack or something. It's really not important. I have unofficially narrowed the few times a man releases this anger down, when I was 16, using my father as a lab rat. The verdict is that one or both of the following must happen to a man before he will release his full power. 

1.) One member of the same sex, but not necessarily the same species, has burned his fuse down to it's nubby end and then had the GALL to go and harm him. Those stupid selfish bastards. Defending the Earth. What in the hell were they thinking? The nerve of some people, I swear... 

Or 

2.) One member of the opposite sex, still not necessarily the same species, has forced him to abstain longer than he and his manly urges would have pleased. This apparently triggers some kind of chain affect in the ki that starts with lack of work out under the sheets and ends someplace with the lack of working out with the rest of the body. 

I have have found that nine times out of ten it takes both of the above options for this theory to play out fully. The one time it didn't was the one-month of no physical pleasure my father received after I was born. Apparently, he'd gone out and destroyed a planet in his frustration and anger at my mother. He couldn't do anything to her, even _he_ had some morals, but he just had to hurt someone. I wonder at times why it wasn't Goku. 

Though I do fear for the galaxy now. 

I've also found that you can get a similar reaction from any woman who just found out that that damn rat that lives under the sink didn't get the hint with the little voodoo rat she left under there last week. Little stupid shit, I'm going to have to leave the rotting carcass of his uncle next to a stick of dynamite for him next time. That will teach the slimy little piece of work to mess with a descendant of Bulma Briefs! 

*Ahem*, off track again, ne? Well, I'm sure you're wondering what the hell I'm getting to aren't you? Silly, silly, IMPATIENT readers. I'm getting to it, okay? 

Goten's problem starts with his mother. She's a lovely person, always been nice to me, and with the exception of the time Trunks blew up the front door of their house, a forgiving one too. I've noticed she's been on the edge ever since she's been working for Goku. But when she called a week ago to talk to my husband I felt all hard times had passed. She was very polite and normal. 

Now I know that I know nothing. Absolutely nothing. 

She'd called to see if Goten would dog-sit for one of her old friends for the day. Goten agreed of course, he'd always been wonderful with animals. I'd thought he should be a veterinarian when I was younger, but he'd said it just wasn't his thing. This baffled me a little, but at the time I'd let it pass. This dog though, she'd be no problem for my Goten. He can do anything when it comes to creatures of the semi-wild. 

So the next morning he went to meet with the lady at ten in the morning, and to bring the dog home with him. It turned out the dog was an adorable little miniature poodle, with white fur and shiny teeth. She could do tricks and play all sorts of games. She must have been a retired show dog or something. I thought she was simply darling, Goten just smiled. I assumed he agreed with me. 

I'd had to go shopping with Marron later that day. Goten was left with all the responsibility of the dog. "Bah," he said, as I walked out the door, "she'll be no problem." And I believed him, until I got home and saw what'd happened of course. Goten told me the dog had been a wonder and he would be happy to have her again anytime. But judging by the blood on the carpet, the marks on Goten's legs, and lack of the left side of my house, I get the feeling he wasn't telling me to truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. 

So help him Dende. 

He took the dog home, and upon the return he told me everything that'd happened. The dog hadn't been a wonder for him; it didn't seem to like him at all. Not that the feeling hadn't become mutual by the end of the day. Goten hated all dogs that went lower than his knee and looked like cotton balls after that. He'd began to call the dog, 'The Leader of the Squirrels.' 

Here's what happened: 

Goten waved happily as I left, "Goodbye Bra!" he called out as I shut the door behind me and ran over to Marron's car, "have fun shopping at don't worry about us at all!" He listened as the car drove off, and turned to Cassie the Dog (her name, in case you didn't know) smiling in that usual Son manner, "You want to go out and play old girl?" 

The response from the dog wasn't what he'd expected. She jumped to her feet right away, growling and showing off her pearly whites to her new enemy. Goten stared dumbly at her, wondering if she saw something he didn't, and began looking around the room. "Is there something wrong Cassie? Is there a person here to shouldn't be or something? Hmmm? What is it?" 

As if to answer the question, which he later confessed he probably shouldn't have asked, the dog pounced at him. She bit him right on the shoulder, grinding her teeth into his arm and grinding as hard as she could. I can't be totally sure that is correct though, dogs normally don't attack without reason. We just have to go on what Goten is telling me. So the information might be a little off. It's her bark against his, really. 

Anyway, Goten yelped in pain, jumping to his feet and grabbing at the puffy little mutt (his word, not mine) to get himself free. She flew across the room like a Frisbee (again, his terms, not mine) to land like one of those strange cats on her feet. She wasted little time in jumping at him again, only this time he was able to dodge. She hit the wall at some point, before turning to him again and growling. He did something similar, standing there and growling at the dog, before they broke out into an all out fight. 

Goten explained that he must have shot off some kind of blast at that time, blowing up part of the house, and told me he'd get that fixed as soon as he could. I shrugged, nothing important was on that side of the house, and besides, I was more interested in what'd happened with the dog. 

They continued to fight, rolling around on the floor, growling and biting. For Goten, it had been a bit refreshing, taking him back to his father's roots to feel the way a real Saiya-jin felt when in a major battle. I didn't understand why, I don't really think I'd feel that way if I was wrestling my Grandpa's cat, but I took his word for it. He was man anyway, what other excuse could there be? 

The dog was a good fighter, it turned out. Goten would curse it down, and it would bark back. He shot a large ki blast at it, and it latched onto his crotch. He fell over onto the floor crying like a little baby, and the dog went to light a cigarette. Both ended up lying on the floor panting and mildly satisfied, and it sort of disturbed me. I guess it was okay though; I can't blame the man after all. He hasn't had sex in almost three months, so a little fight with a dog sounding like it- okay, I CAN blame him. 

My husband has, however, sworn off dog- sitting. He hopes to be fully recovered for the actual Festival. I hope so too. I'm beginning to see the guys' nastiness. I mean... fighting a dog.... Goten has some weird ways of handling his needs. I hope I can help him soon... =P 

-Son Bra 

******

Please note that this fic will not be updated unless there are more reviews than last time. 

So...

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Peace! -Ino! 


	15. WARNING 3 Please Keep Your Speech To Nor...

_AN: So sorry guys! I'm sure I can never be forgiven for neglecting this fic to the point that people started getting nasty and I started to fear Instant Messenger. Special thanks to Bscrews (sorry if that isn't the name you go by) for e-mailing me to get my butt into gear._

_Though I plead the case that I haven't been sitting on my hands all this time. I did post a one shot called, "Come Stop The Rain," a while ago, and I currently am working on two different fics that I plan to have all written before I start posting them. So none of you will ever have to wait this long again with any of my other fics. Gomen._

_Disclaimer: I forget to do this sometimes. I also forget to water my plants. Sad, isn't it?_

_-SilverInochi_

****

**Chapter 15: WARNING- Please Keep Your Speech in Normal English!**

Hmmmmm.... dry-erase markers....

Ack! How long have you been sitting there? 

Too long, I'm sure.

Well, thanks a lot. Now I have to explain to you why I'm thinking about Dry Erasies, don't I? Well, that's a rather long and complicated story that I'm going to tell you about anyway. So get comfy and let a woman who is being empowered by Bulma and couldn't think of any thing else to put in the book this month. Eeehhh.... so sue me. No one's perfect. Just don't tell our leader that...

Anyway, my Gohan recently got a phone call from the school he works for. It turns out, and I couldn't believe this either, that he'd been put on temporary suspension for rage and flat old grouchiness. He took on a bit of an attitude problem after I made him leave the bathroom. You'd think the man would be grateful. Next time, I'm going to take pictures and sell his naked ass to every tabloid within thirty miles.

So, Gohan's out of work. Still is, but at one point, he'd been kind enough to get a job. He'd offered to substitute for a sick Spanish teacher and teach a class of illiterate eighth graders. He'd allowed me to come along, to prove that I was wrong in saying that he and teens didn't march to the same drum beat. I would win this match, I knew it, and I think he did too... but he's a man, and they never admit to knowing about stuff like that. Not even my Gohan is perfect. But I think he's more perfect than our leader. I will murder you if you tell her.

So we arrived several minutes before the class, so Gohan could set up and I could myself set up in the back. I had the only chair with cushions in probably the whole school, a box of Kleenex, and sheets of paper to copy down the happenings of the day. Gohan stood up front, spanish teaching book in hand, practicing the opening phrase of the morning. "Clase de la buena mañana! Soy su nuevo profesor, Sr. Son. Quisiera que usted dijera hola a mi esposa, sentándose allí en la parte posteriora con el rectángulo de Kleenex."

The only word I caught in there was Kleenex, so I can't even be sure he said anything right. That's okay though, the kids in this class had a reputation for not paying attention in class, and it's likely they wouldn't give a damn anyway. So, I nodded and clapped my hands, "Good job, Gohan!"

His head shot up like a gun shot, "Videl," he said, in a tone I hadn't heard since Pan was a teenager, "Whatever you do, do not say that or clap your hands at all during my class today. Got it? Not once." He looked back down to his paper, shuffling them and mumbling a few other Spanish terms that I couldn't comprehend. I kinda stared at him from across the room, wondering who twisted his underwear in a knot.

"Why not, Gohan?" I asked, setting up my first Kleenex for the day. They were there because I had a cold... actually, I didn't even _have_ a cold, but when Gohan started to get himself into big trouble, I would need a way to cover up my giggles and laugher. There's nothing better in that case than camo-cough. No one will have any idea that I'm laughing... they'll just think I'm choking on something.

I watched the clock intently. A few more minutes and they'd be here. The little rats would be entering the classroom and attacking the big cheese that is my husband. I suppose I should have felt bad for Gohan... but watch this kind of thing is so much fun. Kinda gives me power. You know, like the playground bully. I really do feel bad for the dork in the glasses, but beating him up even in his own game can be soooo rewarding.

The desks covered the floor of the room. There had to be at least 25 of them. They where the kind that looked like chairs with a tray attached to the front and a little shelf on the bottom. I noticed that most of them were broken. A shelf only had two poles or the tray sagged a bit lower than it should, in one of two cases, the chair itself was only on three legs. I could only come to two reasons for this, the school was either poor or cheap. I glanced up at the brand new dry erase board up front. The penny-pinchers.

At about nine the room flooded full of eighth graders. Some where tall, some were short. Some where so thin you could find a necklace around their waist, and some were so fat you'd be sure they were going to get stuck in the chair. They had hair of every color... blonde, brunette, red, orange, purple, blue... you name it, they had it. The boys wore baggy clothes. The girls all wore tight clothes. But they all looked at Gohan like a Giant Cockroach was going to teach them that day. And then a thought hit me.

They were going to skin him alive.

I sat back in my chair. It was probably going to be the longest day in Gohan's life. Perhaps, even, longer than Buu, or Cell, or any of those other boneheads. I always thought they were funny. I mean, they always blew into town with their cheeks puffed out like squirrels and their guts sucked in and would say, 'Ha. Ha. Ha ha. I am powerful. I am mighty. I am the super-duper mega ass of your greatest fears!' Then Gohan, or Trunks, or Goku, or Vegeta would eye them funny and promptly kick their ass. I mean, are there not flyers in space telling them it's not worth their time to even come here?

So there they stood. Staring at my husband and shaking their heads. They all turned and went to their seats, still shaking their heads. Gohan, I assume, took no notice of their actions, and broke out into his long speech in Spanish, "Clase de la buena mañana! Soy su nuevo profesor, Sr. Son. Quisiera que usted dijera hola a mi esposa, sentándose allí en la parte posteriora con el rectángulo de Kleenex."

I think everyone in the room, including me, lifted an eyebrow.

"Yo!" a kid called from the back of the room, "Mr. Google-Eyes. We're here to learn Spanish, not know it. Could you translate that to English for us? The only words I understood were sun and Kleenex. Care to elortate?"

"Elaborate?"

"Yeah."

"Okay," Gohan said, shifting his weight. He'd obviously assumed that the students would know a little about spanish before they came to class. He must of found that they didn't as odd. I thought it was pretty funny to be truthful. He didn't seem to want to make a big long speech this time, because all he said was, "I'm your teacher today, I'm Mr. Son. My ball-and-chain is sitting in the back with a box of Kleenex."

Every eye in the room turned to me, and I waved my hand at them. The students all scooted closer to the one next to them and started whispering things like, 'He can't even leave the house without her...,' 'Must have a great sex life to bring his WIFE to work...,' and 'Is he going to bring his mom tomorrow?" I picked up a piece of Kleenex and promptly started to cough a little harder than I probably should have. I didn't want them to think Gohan couldn't leave me home when I was sick.

"Alright," Gohan said, picking up his teacher's manual, "So, what have you all learned already in this class?" He started to turn pages as the kids turned and stared dumbfounded at him, "Numbers, days of the week, months, basic sentences, I'm sure. How about verbs, er, ar, ir? Any of those yet?"

Of the girls rose her hand, "Sir," she said, "We know how to say the basic hello and one through five in Spanish. You are supposed to teach us otherwise. Our other teacher hates us, she's even given up on teaching us. We think she's faking sick. We've had five subs in the past two weeks."

"Oh boy."

I found myself coughing again. Today was going to be a bit more fun that I'd thought it would be. I would never have guessed how Gohan's next move would rear the rest of the day off track, down to ditch and mow the bitchy old lady who lives next to the tracks down to the hell she came from. Not very comforting to think about, is it?

He walked casually over to the cupboard, and opened the door. "Well, I'm not those teachers," he said, pulling out several different white boards and handing them out to various students. They all stared at them as if he'd just dropped dung into their laps and told them to eat it. He then took out a tub full of markers and handed the kids one each- not caring if one wanted some color over the other. This was Gohan's world, and you had to play by his rules. You know, sometimes being his wife has it's advantages.

So we sat with our little boards as Gohan sat at the top of the class and listed off the things he wanted the kids to write in Spanish on his little board. I, myself, didn't know many of the things he told us to write. I think towards the end he just started to give us long and complicated sentences. It wasn't like Gohan to not be very patient. Normally, the man had his wits about him, but not today. By the time the class was over, I had to go get the principal to go and kick Gohan out.

"You don't think I was harsh on those kids, do you?" he asked me later, leaning in over the stove as I cooked dinner, "I mean... I didn't hurt anyone, and no one started to cry... that's a good sign, right? It is Videl, right?"

"Gohan, you called a child the stupidest thing to ever crawl Earth, you shot a ki blast that nearly missed another kid, and you were just terrible to the another one... honestly... insulting his mother..." I shook my head and clicked my tongue as if to say he was some kind of terrible person. Truth be told, I would have done the exact same thing to that last brat...

"The kid practically _asked_ me to do it, Videl!" he said, dancing around in front of me as if it would prove a point, "She said I was a wuss, and that I was stupid because I couldn't leave home without my wife... and Videl, she insulted my **pants**! She was practically wearing a blast me sign!"

I motioned for him to go to the dinning room and set the table while I set out to grab this book and write today down. The whole process was going wonderfully. I was very pleased to see Gohan losing his very brain that he prided himself and everything he'd worked so hard on to build. That was... until I heard a crash and found out that he'd blasted a hole through the wall because of a commercial.... 

But ehhh... what can you do?

-Videl Son

****

_Okay dudes and dudettes. The next chappy is Veggie and Bulma, isn't it? Be prepared for some wet and wild fun... I kid you not ^.~_

**_REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!_**

_-Ino_


	16. WARNING 4Run, Do Not Walk, By the Pool!

AN: Hey guys! I know it's been forever since I, you know, posted. But here is a newer chapter. And more good news for all you ladies, I left you a bit of 'I'm-SO-sorry' candy! I'd kill to be Pan this chapter.  
  
Disclaimer: I disclaim this. I also disclaim the songs by Beyonce and Conway Twitty.  
  
Chapter 16: Warning- Run, Do Not Walk, By the Pool!  
  
I suppose that as our time in the festival started to draw to a close, I might have started to get the feeling that Vegeta was getting a bit. oh, edgy. I admit I was a bit disappointed when I started to dance around the kitchen in my tube top dress and mid-thigh super whore boots and he didn't bat an eyelash. But two hours later I found the remainder of his favorite reclining chair.  
  
I felt so special.  
  
But my first major clue that Vegeta was starting to lose it was the day I told him about the party I wanted to plan. His face seemed to change from its usual purplish-red tint to a strangely ashen color when I mentioned the fact that it was a pool party. Apparently he didn't appreciate the brand-new pink and silver metallic bikini I bought. I don't know why, normally he likes shiny things.  
  
Maybe that's why.  
  
Yes, I am evil.  
  
BWAHAHA!  
  
Anyhow, the girls loved the idea. Well, actually, ChiChi was a bit nasty herself, and the idea of a metallic bikini didn't seem to rub her the right way. Videl stuttered a bit, and then I heard a squeak and a thud, so her opinion was up in the air. Pan and Bra were all for it though. Which tells you one thing. I don't think I even need to say it.  
  
So we had the party. Vegeta was reluctant to leave our room at first. So I let the guests arrive until I could use the fact that Goku was brave enough to show up against him. The funny part was, once I got outside to the party, I saw all the guys along the fence gripping it as tight as they could. On the other side of the yard were my fellow female manhood-murders, all fully clothed and grinning across the pool at their husbands.  
  
"I don't think I can do this much longer," I heard Goten say, turning his head in the middle to look at Trunks.  
  
Gohan seemed to be talking out the corner of his mouth, "Don't give in to them, Goten. You are a warrior. We can beat them. Damn it, we can beat Buu and Cell, we can stand up to our wives."  
  
"Oh really, and how is your rubber ducky doing, Gohan?"  
  
"Shut up, Goten," Gohan murmured, slowly closing his eyes. "At least I didn't think a zit was a-"  
  
"Say it and die!"  
  
Then the screen door to the house opened. Out floated Vegeta, pink fluffy robe and all. He stripped from the garment, leaving him in nothing but a thong, and walking in a proud yet oddly, cocky manner. Every woman in the place was staring. Hell, even I was staring, and I'd seen those perfectly chiseled butt cheeks up close.  
  
There was mixed reaction on the man side of the pool.  
  
"Meeeeeoooooooowww! Vegeta!" Goku called, smirking in a very non- Goku manner, "Are you feeling PRETTY? PRETTY AND WITTY AND-"  
  
"GAY!" Goten and Gohan chorused together.  
  
Trunks' eyes, however, were completely covered by his hands, and he kept muttering over and over, "My father's in a thong. I'm going to need therapy for the rest of my life."  
  
"Alright ladies! GRAB YOUR MAN!" I called, and they were off in a flash. ChiChi practically walked on water to get over to Goku, grabbing him tightly by the ear and hoisting him off to one end of the pool. Videl turned red as a radish and tugged on Gohan's arm, to the side opposite of ChiChi and Gohan. Pan walked straight up to Trunks, groped something in front of him (he whimpered and said, "I am your slave, master!") and had him follow her to the left side of the pool. Bra got Goten going somehow (it would be shameful for me to tell you), and they occupied the only remaining side.  
  
"Put your man on the pool side of you," I said, standing before a lawn chair with a stereo at my side, they all did as told. "Ready?" I called, all the women nodded, "You have four minutes and twelve seconds!" I paused for effect and then called the death decree, "Strip them!"  
  
"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"  
  
I flipped the switch that started, "Crazy in Love," by Beyonce featuring Jay-Z. And they were off.  
  
Goku laughed, seemingly happy that he was married to ChiChi and not someone like Bra. Just because while Tae ChiChi wasn't a threatening deal to a man wearing jeans over his swim trunks, the Super Stripper I'd trained ChiChi into being behind his back was. Did I mention I was evil?  
  
And it almost brought a tear to my eye when ChiChi reached around and scooped those adorable Saiya-jin cheeks into her hands. Goku's face immediately dove into the crook between her shoulder and neck, and ChiChi's face turned to the sky as though she were praying to Dende to forgiveness.  
  
She tucked her thumb under the upper hem of his blue jeans, tugging at them a bit. Goku's back arched back, obviously not expecting this. She put the other one around to join it, and they both traveled their respective sides to meet together at the front button. I could see Goku shaking a bit. The look on ChiChi's face was priceless as she unbuttoned the copper button, and then started gliding the zipper up and down several times. And just as Goku looked like his knees were about to cave, she got to her knees and slowly tugged on each side until his jeans were all the way off.  
  
Then she moved on to his shirt.  
  
Now, my Trunks was never one to give up a fight. Sure, he usually didn't feel like participating in general, but this was the type of fight he'd never lost before. True to form, I found him and Pan grinding their hips together, her hand clinging tight to the front of his jeans, him clinging tighter to the front of hers. Pan had his t-shirt in hand, twisted to it looked like some kind of cloth log, twirling around her head like a lasso.  
  
So she inched closer up his leg.  
  
Then she stopped moving her hips, running her hands over his shoulders, then down his chest. Trunks wasn't embarrassed to throw his head back, and for a moment I began to wonder exactly how many times they'd actually done this. In what looked like one movement that took about a second, his pants were unhooked. She slowly pulled down the zipper, almost notch by notch. I heard Trunks growl and grab her hips, pulling her closer.  
  
She too, sunk to her knees. She stuck out her tongue and ran it along the waistline of his swim trunks, and then pulled off his pants. Inch by inch. It almost made me wonder when my son and his wife had become bona fide sex maniacs.  
  
I'd never seen Gohan go that shade of red before. I'll be honest here; I'd never seen anyone turn that shade of red before. He was standing stiff as a grouchy Vegeta, getting redder and redder every time Videl brushed a finger onto his body. His pants from before had completely disappeared. Videl looked just as determined to get the shirt off and finish the deal before anyone saw what they were done. Tells you what they must be like in bed.  
  
No wonder Pan's an only child.  
  
But it looked like Bra and Goten where the most into it. Not only was she stripping him, but also he, in turn, was stripping her. She came close to him and licked behind his ear, purring a bit as she pulled up on his shirt. Goten grinned in the way only a man could. She stepped back a bit and tugged it all the way off, revealing the body both genetics and serious Goku-induced training had given him. He then placed his hands gently on her hips, turning her around. He crossed his arms over her front, gripping the front of her shirt, and pulling it over her head.  
  
So I stepped back and admired my work well done. I didn't get to strip Vegeta. I'd simply thrown out his trunks and put the thong there in its place. He'd have probably maimed me if I made him do any of this.  
  
Then the final bit of the song came in, closing the whole deal. All at once, the wives shoved the four men lining the pool into the water. Gohan recovered right away, swimming around. Goku floated to the top on his back, grinning with satisfaction. Trunks came up trashing like a mad man. Goten just popped up looking totally rejected.  
  
"Just cooling you off Goten," Bra said, shrugging her shoulders.  
  
Pan was in nothing but her bikini now, watching her husband with a raised eyebrow. Trunks was looking like he'd never come into contact with water before, and the by the feel he believed that he would dissolve into nothing. She didn't seem to get it either, "What are you doing, Trunks?"  
  
"I can't swim!"  
  
"Then grab onto the side of the pool."  
  
"Give me your hand, help me out of here!" he pleaded.  
  
Pan shook her head and bent over, offering her hand, "Honestly, how could you not know how to swim if you have a pool in your backyAAAAARRRRRRDDDDD!"  
  
Trunks pulled her in with him. Who didn't see that one coming?  
  
She resurfaced, pushing her hair out of her face, and glaring at Trunks, who was now treading water perfectly. "I thought you said you couldn't swim!" she said, shoving water in his face.  
  
He shrugged and smiled, "Well, I have always been a fast learner!"  
  
She growled and moved towards the ladder, stepping up onto it, hoisting herself out, taking a moment to snap the bottom of her bathing suit in his face, and then stepping onto the pavement. Trunks glared at her as she glided past, he seriously pissed and she seriously proud of herself.  
  
An hour or two later I'd bargained with the guys. We'd go inside and put on clothing that revealed nothing, for their own safety, if they gave us approvable entertainment by-you guessed it, karaoke machine. I figured it would be fun, because none of them could carry a tune in a bucket and Gohan and Vegeta seemed to share their fear of public performance.  
  
Their first mistake was letting Goten choose the song. He picked some country song, with a real redneck banjo sound to it. Though one could easily hear what the beat of the song was supposed to represent. Totally a song sung by a male artist.  
  
So Trunks grabbed the mike, grabbing the belt on his jeans that had been newly reapplied. He moved his hips from side to side that could only symbolize one thing. Again, only something that could be thought up by a man, "There's a lot of ways of sayin' what I wanna say to you," he sang in a tone that could make the local birds go deaf, "there are songs and poems and promises and dreams that might come true," he did a little bit of a spin, "but I won't talk of starry skies or moonlight on the ground, I'll just come right out and tell ya," he fell to one knee and put a hand to his chest, "I'd just love to lay ya down!"  
  
Goten grabbed the mike from him, taking a minute or two to get off beat and try to get back on task, moving from side to side not unlike a class nerd, "I,. uhhh. Oh! Lay you down and softly wishper, pretty love words in your ear." he squinted at the screen, "lay you. down, and uhhh. tell you all the things my woman loves to hear." He returned to his side- side moves, "I'd let you know how much it means, having you around," he stuck the mike in the air while his head went back like a rock star, "And darlin' how I'd love to lay you down!"  
  
Goku fumbled with the mike a minute, "There's so many ways your sweet love has turned this house into a home," he jumped up and down, totally off beat, "you got a way of doing little things that turn me on," now he shook his hips in circles, again, totally off beat, "like standing in the kitchen, in that faded cotton gown," his hand went behind his head, with the circle continued, "with your hair all up in curlers I'd still love to lay you down!"  
  
Gohan shoved him off the stage, unable to take anymore, "Lay you down and softly whisper," he said, not sang, said, in a very monotone voice, "pretty love words in your ear. Lay you down," he decided to drag this word on, I assume because he didn't care for the subject at hand, "and tell you all the things my woman loves to hear. I'd let you know, how much it means. having you around. And darling I'd just love to lay you down."  
  
Then Vegeta pranced onto the stage, falling onto one knee like his son, belted the last verse like he was good at it or something, "When a whole lot of Decembers are showing in your face," he shook his head for effect, "your turquoises hair has faded and silver takes its place," he stood up and did the most painful looking hip jerks, "You'll be just as lovely, and I'll still be around," his hand went behind his head too, "and if I can I know I'd still love to lay you down!"  
  
And then the five of them came together like one of those 1920's groups, snapping their fingers and stepping from side to side. Of course, they were all off beat, and they made the chorus even more ugly than it was before.  
  
They all smiled, proud of themselves. I looked down at my fellow huntresses, lifted my glasses and asked, "You okay with that ladies?"  
  
Videl sighed, "We guess."  
  
Bra and Pan stood up, and Pan muttered something about how it was more painful to watch and hear than menstrual cramps.  
  
It was, it really was.  
  
-Bulma Briefs 


End file.
